Red Reporter - SBNation Winter Meetings Simulation: Red Reporter finally takes over as GM of the RedsAAAA Affiliate of the Cincinnati Redshttps://cdn.vox-cdn.com/community_logos/30447/favicon.ico2012-12-07T08:02:31-05:00http://www.redreporter.com/rss/stream/34874712012-12-07T08:02:31-05:002012-12-07T08:02:31-05:00The Vole
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<p><a href="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1845421/vole.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Vole_medium" class="photo" src="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/1845421/vole_medium.png"></a> <br id="1354900862629"> CINCINNATI - The Fake <a href="https://www.redreporter.com/" class="sbn-auto-link">Reds</a> are delighted to announce that they have purchased the contract of catcher Christopher Gamblee-Wallendjack from the Fake Long Island Ducks of the Fake Atlantic League. The contract is a one-day deal with an invite to spring training. Christopher hit .144/.380/.235 in limited action last season, but scouts love his upside.</p>
<p>"We love his upside", said one Reds scout.</p>
<p>The Fake Reds plan to move him to center field, where he will battle <span>Drew Stubbs</span>, <span>Shin-Soo Choo</span>, and <span>Xavier Paul</span> for fake playing time. There's no telling how that will shake out, but Fake Dusty Baker's reaction suggests that he may favor his new signing.</p>
<p>"He gets on base, right? I really like a cat who can take a pitch or two. I'm fake, this is all fake.", said Dusty Faker.</p>
<p>Fake Reds GM CharlestonWordsWithFriends weighed in with his take on his new short-term player.</p>
<p>"Wait a minute. I thought you said this was for Make-A-Wish? Please give back the per diem at the end of the day."</p>
<p>The most excited player about this deal seems to be <span>Joey Votto</span>, who nicknamed Christopher "The Vole" while in federal prison. They have never met.</p>
<p>"Who the hell is The Vole?", quipped Joey at an awestruck reporter.</p>
<p>He will wear #14, last worn by infielder Pete Rose Jr. Rose Jr. was unavailable for comment.</p>
https://www.redreporter.com/2012/12/7/3738480/fake-reds-think-outside-the-box-sign-catcher-outfielder-blogBrandon Kraeling2012-12-07T07:01:06-05:002012-12-07T07:01:06-05:00Fake Reds get Peralta, Affeldt, Hanson; Sim Recap
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<figcaption>Two handsome, shirtless guys high-fiving. | Ronald Martinez</figcaption>
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<p>Red Reporter's Reds pretty much wrap up their Winter Meetings by shoring up the pitching staff and spending all of the money.</p> <p>Welp, I think that about does it. There are still a few heres and theres hanging around out there, but this is probably the fake roster our fake <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://www.redreporter.com/">Reds</a> will take into fake Spring Training. To the news:</p>
<h4>Acquired <span>Tommy Hanson</span> from the <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://www.talkingchop.com/">Braves</a> in exchange for <span>Taylor Jungmann</span> and <span>Logan Ondrusek</span>
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<p>Tommy Hanson was the #4 prospect in baseball just a few years ago. He looked like a promising young fella, but he's lost some of that tangy zip on his miracle whip. His average fastball velocity dipped below 90 mph last season, worrying many that his shoulder is kaputnik. We ran some scout tapes by <span>Bryan Price</span>. He turned to us and winked. That's all we needed to know.</p>
<p> </p>
<h4>Signed free agent <span>Joel Peralta</span> for two years and $8 million</h4>
<p> </p>
<h4>Signed free agent <span>Jeremy Affeldt</span> for three years and $16 million</h4>
<p>Peralta is a top right-handed reliever, hammering it out in the <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://www.draysbay.com/">Rays</a>' bullpen the past two seasons. He'll help us build a MEGABULLPEN in the style of Voltron, Defender of the Universe. Affeldt you know, because he used to be with the Reds. He'll be the left leg in the Voltron.</p>
<p>So, uh, hmm. I'm gonna level with you. This whole thing did not go nearly as we had planned it. We had a pretty conventional plan going in, you know, looking for a lead-off man, a left fielder, maybe some bullpen help. And in my opinion, I think we actually turned out a really good looking baseball team. But shit got fonky bananas. WAY fonky bananas. For example, <span>Zack Greinke</span> signed with the fake <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://www.bluebirdbanter.com/">Blue Jays</a> for six years and $175 million. <span>Anibal Sanchez</span> got six years and $90 million. <span>Josh Hamilton</span> got six years and $152 million. BJ Upton got five years and $90 million. <span>Angel Pagan</span> got four years and $60 million. The free agent market just didn't reflect reality. It went and got totally rescrabbulous.</p>
<p>Much of that had to do with how teams were managing their payrolls. Which is to say, they weren't. See, we assumed that teams would stick to a realistic payroll. They, uh, didn't. I guess when you are playing a fake game with fake money, fake self-imposed rules are easy to break. The Blue Jays, for example, raised their payroll by like a jillion dollars. I wish we'd have thought of that.</p>
<p>Our plan was not to trade <span>Brandon Phillips</span>. I mean, that would be stupid, right? But when presented with the deal, it was hard to turn down. <span>Jean Segura</span> and <span>Tyler Thornburg</span> are a pair of top prospects, and the other two fellas were nothing to sneeze at neither. We figured the money saved and pitching prospects gained could be used to really tear some shit up. We were wrong.</p>
<p>Turns out, the piddly dollars we saved weren't worth shit on the market. We thought, "Hey! We have about $18 mil to put towards the payroll this year! Let's get Josh Hamilton!" Then we asked and were like /face turn green.</p>
<p>Also, pitching prospects are useless when you are building a team to show off to your internet friends at the end of the week instead of playing real baseball for the next however many years. Our supposition was that with a bucket full of valuable pitching prospects, we could swing some deals. That didn't happen. When we showed our prospect stock around the market, it was like when the little brother tries to impress his older brother's friends with a geode. No one cared. Who needs future value when this game ends on Friday?</p>
<p>So we did what any reasonable, self-respecting, hard-working, boot-strapping, hair-combing young bucks would do: we bought us up a bullpen.</p>
<p>So here you go. This is the Fake Reds roster we will be taking with us to Spring Training this year in outer space. Yeah. Our fake Spring Training facility is in outer space. Training in zero-gravity makes baseball players awesome times better or something.</p>
<h4>Starting Lineup:</h4>
<p><span>Alejandro De Aza</span> CF<br><span>Shin-Soo Choo</span> LF<br><span>Joey Votto</span> 1B<br><span>Todd Frazier</span> 3B<br><span>Jay Bruce</span> RF<br>Zack Cozart SS<br>Takashi Toritani 2B<br><span>Ryan Hanigan</span> C</p>
<h4>Bench:</h4>
<p><span>Drew Stubbs</span> OF<br><span>Xavier Paul</span> OF<br><span>Devin Mesoraco</span> C<br><span>Jack Hannahan</span> 3B/1B<br>Henry Rodriguez IF</p>
<h4>Rotation:</h4>
<p><span>Johnny Cueto</span> <br><span>Mat Latos</span> <br><span>Aroldis Chapman</span> <br><span>Bronson Arroyo</span> <br>Tommy Hanson</p>
<h4>Bullpen:</h4>
<p><span>Ryan Madson</span><br><span>Sean Marshall</span> <br>Mke Adams<br>Jeremy Affeldt<br>Joel Peralta<br><span>Nick Masset</span><br><span>Jose Arredondo</span></p>
<p>Minor League deals:</p>
<p>Austin Kearns OF<br>Bill Bray P<br>Jack Hannahan IF<br>Darnell McDonald OF<br>Wladimir Balentien OF</p>
<p>If this simulation were a bit more real, we'd make sure to trade off Jose Arredondo or something to make room for <span>Sam LeCure</span> or <span>Mike Leake</span> or <span>J.J. Hoover</span>. But they all have options, so at this point in the fake game, they are playing Call of Duty down in Louisville.</p>
<p>So yeah. This was really, really fun. I'm going to have to go back sometime and count how many emails Beeker, RijoSabes, and I sent back and forth this week. They were really great. Also, you all were really cool for not calling us out on how stupid this whole thing really is. I mean, this is really just a bunch of squares playing fantasy baseball. And everyone knows that the least interesting thing in the world is somebody else's fantasy team. But you indulged us and I hope we were able to add some entertainment to an otherwise boring Winter Meetings.</p>
<p>Go Red Reporter's Reds! They are my fakerite team!</p>
https://www.redreporter.com/2012/12/7/3738058/fake-reds-sign-joel-peralta-and-jeremy-affeldt-acquire-tommy-hansonCharlie Scrabbles2012-12-06T07:00:52-05:002012-12-06T07:00:52-05:00Fake Reds sign some free agents
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<figcaption>HAIRCUT HAIRCUT HAIRCUT AGAIN! | Mike Hewitt</figcaption>
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<p>The Fake SBNation Winter Meetings Simulation Contest and Sweepstakes just went and got UNREAL.</p> <p>Red Reporter's <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://www.redreporter.com/">Reds</a> were very active all day yesterday, even if little result came of it. But with a wallet full of Tim Horton's gift cards from that time all of our aunts overheard us talking about how much we like coffee and so that's all we got for Christmas that year and the barista working the overnight shift who said she really wasn't creeped out at all and that she thought this whole thing was neat, we were able to stay up all night and seal some deals. Two new free agents were added in the wee hours, so let's take a look:</p>
<h4>
<span>Mike Adams</span> - two years, $5 million</h4>
<p>Red Reporter's Reds added another strong late-inning reliever to their already bodacious bullpen, signing free agent Mike Adams to a bargain deal of $5 million over two years. The 34-year-old righty spent the last year-and-a-half with the <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://www.lonestarball.com/">Texas Rangers</a>, but was diagnosed with thoracic outlet syndrome at the end of last season. That made every other team in the world run away because they were so grossed out by it, because I guess they all thought it meant he had like a bug butt or something gross. But whatever it is, he had the surgery and it's fine. So the Fake Reds' bullpen looks pretty nastay even without <span>Aroldis Chapman</span>.</p>
<h4>Takashi Toritani - one year, $3 million</h4>
<p>Toritani becomes the first Japanese-born player to fake wear the fake wishbone C (Hiroshima Carp excluded). The 31-year old middle infielder spent his entire career in the NPB with the Hanshin <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://www.blessyouboys.com/">Tigers</a>, posting a .284/.370/.419 batting line. Though he played shortstop for the Tigers, Red Reporter's Reds plan to move him over to second base where he will likely get the starting nod over top infield prospects <span>Didi Gregorius</span>, <span>Jean Segura</span>, and Henry Rodriguez.</p>
https://www.redreporter.com/2012/12/6/3734318/sbnation-fake-winter-meetings-sim-red-reporters-reds-ink-a-pair-ofCharlie Scrabbles2012-12-05T19:20:07-05:002012-12-05T19:20:07-05:00SBNation Winter Meetings Sim Day 3
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<figcaption>HAIRCUT HAIRCUT HAIRCUT HAIRCUT BLUP | Nick Laham</figcaption>
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<p>No fake news to report today.</p> <p>Rest assured, oh loyal fans of Red Reporter's <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://www.redreporter.com/">Reds</a>, much is happening in the fake and not real SBNation Winter Meetings Simulation sponsored by whatever. Nothing has really happened, of course, but still. Stuff is happening. Just to update, here is the roster so far:</p>
<p>De Aza CF<br>Choo LF<br>Votto 1B<br>Frazier 3B<br>Bruce RF<br>Cozart SS<br>Segura 2B<br>Hanigan C</p>
<p>Cueto SP<br>Latos SP<br>Chapman SP<br>Arroyo SP<br>Leake SP</p>
<p>Madson CL<br>Marshall RP<br>Hoover RP<br>Masset RP<br>Arredondo RP<br>Hagadone RP<br>LeCure RP</p>
<p>As you can see, the bench still needs a good sorting out. I didn't even bother listing it yet. We still have a few bucks to throw around, so there are still some upgrades to be had. Stuff is happening. Stuff, as well as things. </p>
<p>Who's in:</p>
<p><span>Ryan Madson</span><br>Alejandro de Aza <br><span>Shin-Soo Choo</span><br><span>Nick Hagadone</span><br><span>Jean Segura</span><br><span>Taylor Jungmann</span><br><span>Tyler Thornburg</span><br><span>Ariel Pena</span><br><br>NRIs:</p>
<p><span>Bill Bray</span><br><span>Jack Hannahan</span><br><span>Austin Kearns</span></p>
<p>Who's out:</p>
<p><span>Brandon Phillips</span><br><span>Homer Bailey</span><br><span>Chris Heisey</span><br><span>Tony Cingrani</span></p>
https://www.redreporter.com/2012/12/5/3733572/sbnation-winter-meetings-sim-day-3-not-really-worth-updatingCharlie Scrabbles2012-12-04T16:09:18-05:002012-12-04T16:09:18-05:00Fake Reds re-sign Ryan Madson
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<figcaption>Rich Pilling</figcaption>
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<p>At the SBN Bizzarro Land Winter Meetings, Red Reporter's Reds re-sign Ryan Madson to a one-year deal worth $4 million.</p> <p>Red Reporter's <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://www.redreporter.com/">Reds</a> have taken another step toward solidifying their roster, signing <span>Ryan Madson</span> to a one-year, $4 million "do-over" contract. The signing shores up the back end of the bullpen, getting a proven late-inning reliever to replace <span>Aroldis Chapman</span>, who will be joining the rotation. </p>
<p>Madson seemed oddly upset when speaking to reporters about it, but gave terse but positive answers. "Yeah, uh...I'm really happy to get another chance to show Cincinnati what...*gulp*...I can do. I...uh...yeah."</p>
<p>Reds' interim GM Charlie Scrabbles was quoted as saying, "Ryan owes us. Big time. Big. Time. So yeah, I guess he learned that what is good for the Reds is good for him. Ain't that right, Knuckles? Knuckles here is our new...um...bullpen coach. Yeah, our new bullpen coach. He's going to keep an eye on Madson and make sure he doesn't get hurt again. Right, Knuckles?"</p>
<p>The deal leaves the Reds with a bit of wiggle room left in the payroll. With <span>Brandon Phillips</span> off the books, the team now has around $10 million left to spend.</p>
https://www.redreporter.com/2012/12/4/3728294/fake-reds-re-sign-ryan-madsonCharlie Scrabbles2012-12-04T14:53:15-05:002012-12-04T14:53:15-05:00Fake Reds get De Aza from fake White Sox
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<figcaption>Tom Szczerbowski-US PRESSWIRE</figcaption>
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<p>Red Reporter's Reds accomplished the team's top priority, getting Alejandro De Aza from the White Sox for Tony Cingrani.</p> <p>SBNation's fake simulation of the Winter Meetings rolls on today, and Red Reporter's <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://www.redreporter.com/">Reds</a> were finally able to cross out their #1 priority. <span>Alejandro De Aza</span> is coming over from the <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://www.southsidesox.com/">White Sox</a> in exchange for pitching prospect <span>Tony Cingrani</span>.</p>
<p>De Aza, who is arbitration-eligible for the first time this winter, hit .281/.349/.410 in 2012, adding 26 steals. Red Reporter's Reds plan to use him as the primary center fielder and lead-off man, pushing <span>Drew Stubbs</span> to the fourth outfielder role. Stubbs will likely see a majority of the starts in center field against left-handed pitching.</p>
<p>Sources indicate the deal came together rather quickly. The Reds had multiple offers on the table for a center fielder, but felt this one was the best value deal.</p>
<p>Tony Cingrani will be headed to the South Side. Reds' officials admit it was difficult to part with the lefty starter, but the acquisition of <span>Tyler Thornburg</span>, <span>Ariel Pena</span>, and <span>Taylor Jungmann</span> from the <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://www.brewcrewball.com/">Brewers</a> in the <span>Brandon Phillips</span> deal yesterday left the team with a surplus of young pitchers.</p>
<p>UPDATED SBNATION SIM REDS 25-MAN ROSTER</p>
<p>projected lineup:</p>
<p>De Aza CF<br>Choo LF<br>Votto 1B<br>Frazier 3B<br>Bruce RF<br>Segura 2B<br>Cozart SS<br>Hanigan C</p>
<p>projected rotation and bullpen:</p>
<p>Cueto<br>Latos<br>Chapman<br>Arroyo<br>Leake</p>
<p>Marshall (closer)<br>Hoover<br>LeCure<br>Arredondo<br>Masset<br>Simon<br>Hagadone</p>
https://www.redreporter.com/2012/12/4/3727870/red-reporters-reds-acquire-alejandro-de-aza-from-south-side-sox-whiteCharlie Scrabbles2012-12-04T09:17:02-05:002012-12-04T09:17:02-05:00SBNation Winter Meetings Sim: Day 2
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<img alt="An unidentified GM at the SBNation Winter Meetings searches the parking lot for a quiet place to take a leak." src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/caLlVf26n_uSxkhvkC07rdyPOdg=/0x14:1000x681/1310x873/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/4391171/gyi0064513393.0.jpg" />
<figcaption>An unidentified GM at the SBNation Winter Meetings searches the parking lot for a quiet place to take a leak. | Jared Wickerham</figcaption>
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<p>Day two of the fake Winter Meetings dawns with a fake new-look Reds team. A pair of big fake trades went down yesterday, changing the fake lineup dramatically. Let's take a look at what didn't actually in reality happen.</p> <p>Red Reporter was very active on the trade market in the first day of the SBNation Winter Meetings, making a pair of high-profile trades. The first saw <span>Homer Bailey</span> and <span>Chris Heisey</span> heading to Cleveland in exchange for <span>Shin-Soo Choo</span> and lefty reliever <span>Nick Hagadone</span>. The second, and much more controversial, saw long-time Red and franchise cornerstone <span>Brandon Phillips</span> shipped off to Milwaukee for an overwhelming haul of prospects, including <span>Jean Segura</span>, <span>Tyler Thornburg</span>, <span>Taylor Jungmann</span>, and <span>Ariel Pena</span>. </p>
<p>Rival executives seem split on how to evaluate the new-look <a class="sbn-auto-link" href="https://www.redreporter.com/">Reds</a>. "I know we are in Nashville, but I could swear we were south of the border. The Reds are as bold as a spicy Mexican tamale," one GM said. Another was less impressed. "Those guys are so stupid and dumb. It's like they are just impulsively going after any possible deal that falls in front of them. They are like a cat with one of those toys on a fishing pole toy. What do you call those things? Cat fishing poles? That's not right. Wouldn't it be a catting pole? Whatever you call it, the Reds are acting recklessly, like a cat scrabbling across a hardwood floor."</p>
<p>As active as the Reds were on day one, many sources say they are far from finished. Agents have disclosed that they have checked in on free agents <span>Scott Baker</span>, <span>Jeff Keppinger</span>, and...wait for it...<span>Josh Hamilton</span>. One agent told me though that the free agent market right now is crazy. "It's like girls gone titters out there. Utility infielders are getting three-year offers. Josh Hamilton thinks he'll get $150 million, and the way things are going, he could end up with double that."</p>
<p>As it stands, the Reds have an impressive roster already. Shin-Soo Choo, <span>Jay Bruce</span>, <span>Drew Stubbs</span>, and <span>Xavier Paul</span> are in the outfield, with <span>Todd Frazier</span>, <span>Zack Cozart</span>, Jean Segura, and <span>Joey Votto</span> in the infield. Most impressive though is the bevy of young pitchers in the stable. The rotation looks formidable once again with <span>Johnny Cueto</span>, <span>Mat Latos</span>, <span>Aroldis Chapman</span>, <span>Bronson Arroyo</span>, and <span>Mike Leake</span>, with prospects <span>Daniel Corcino</span>, <span>Tony Cingrani</span>, Ariel Pena, Tyler Thornburg, Taylor Jungmann, Robert Stephenson, and <span>Kyle Lotzkar</span> in tow. </p>
<p>Look for the Reds to shore up the bullpen before things are all said and done. They are said to prefer to add another late-inning reliever, but are comfortable heading into the season with <span>Sean Marshall</span> and <span>J.J. Hoover</span> getting save opportunities. </p>
https://www.redreporter.com/2012/12/4/3726248/sbnation-winter-meetings-sim-day-2Charlie Scrabbles2012-12-03T17:46:32-05:002012-12-03T17:46:32-05:00Simulation: Fake Reds trade Brandon Phillips
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<figcaption>Evan Habeeb-US PRESSWIRE</figcaption>
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<p>Don't be mad.</p> <p>The Master Plan continues to unfold as the Fake Reds fakely traded longtime 2B Brandon Phillips to the Brewers for a handsome prospect haul. The deal frees up approximately $10M of payroll flexibility.</p>
<p>In return, the Reds received:</p>
<p><b>Jean Segura</b></p>
<p>22 years old, 2B/SS</p>
<p>55th ranked prospect overall by BA, pre-2012. Well-rounded player that could be plugged in to replace Phillips at 2B in the very near future, if not out of camp.</p>
<p><b>Taylor Jungmann</b></p>
<p>22 years old, SP</p>
<p>12th overall pick in the 2011 Draft and ranked 70th overall prospect by BA pre-2012. Imposing at 6'6'/220 and can touch upper 90s with his fastball.</p>
<p><b>Ariel Pena</b></p>
<p>23 years old, SP</p>
<p>Close to MLB-ready, durable starter who has averaged 150 IP over the last two seasons in the minors. Can also hit upper 90s, with some effective wildness.</p>
<p><b>Tyler Thornburg</b></p>
<p>24 years old, SP</p>
<p>2010 3rd round pick reached the majors this season for a cup of coffee and a September call-up. Has K'd over 10 batters per nine innings across three minor league seasons. Has #2-#3 starter potential, though he is a fly-ball pitcher.</p>
https://www.redreporter.com/2012/12/3/3724106/red-reporters-reds-trade-bp-to-brew-crew-balls-brewers-for-if-jeanRijoSaboCaseyWKRP