The Philadelphia Phillies beat the Cincinnati Reds at baseball tonight

Former Cincinnati Reds RF Nick Castellanos had an RBI single in tonight’s series opener between the Reds and Philadelphia Phillies in GABP, and that’s a sentence that had me holding down the shift key entirely too many times.

Anyway, Noah Syndergaard mostly breezed through a Reds lineup devoid of any sort of moderate threat despite his velocity being down a full speed-trap from his glory days, and the Reds fell 4-3 in front of a crowd of several.

‘Twas the kind of game I’m afraid we’re going to be seeing routinely over the next few weeks, I fear. With Jonathan India hurt enough to be on the injured list alongside fellow first round picks Tyler Stephenson and Hunter Greene, we’re not even going to get much of the promised look at the future while the present reeks of spilt milk and that bag of brussels sprouts you forgot about that has turned to soup in the back of your vegetable drawer.

Rest assured, they’ll keep selling tickets to all interested parties for the rest of the season, however, with Tuesday night their next opportunity. For those who choose to venture forth for such an occasion, just know you’ll get to witness the second career start in a Reds uniform by one T.J. Zeuch, who will ply his trade as Major League starting pitcher opposite Kyle Gibson. The schedule tells me that first pitch is set for 6:40 PM ET once again, and you should probably be there at that very moment if you’re actually going to attend since there’s a decent chance it gets smacked into the outfield seats.