Did the Cincinnati Reds win today?

No.

The Cincinnati Reds did not win today.

The San Diego Padres won 7-5 today, which is just what they do against the Cincinnati Reds. Their second series sweep of the Reds already in the books leaves them 6-0 against Cincinnati this season, which leaves the Reds the literal definition of defeated by the Padres this calendar year.

They will have a chance to not win again tomorrow while on the road against the Colorado Rockies. They’ll get that chance with Hunter Greene on the mound for them, hopefully throwing gas gassier than the 95 mph he gassed at in his last outing, which was scary.

Joey Votto is slugging .145 after today’s action. Of the 212 MLB players who entered play on Thursday with at least 50 PA so far this year, his .150 mark before today’s game ranked 209th.

I have honestly never seen the entire concept of fun sucked out of something in more rapid, aggressive fashion than what the Reds have done to this season already. Thanks for absolutely nothing, Phil.

Tony Graphanino