Articles we might write if this lockout lasts much longer

For the second time in the last three seasons, we’re stuck between a baseball and a hard place. There is no baseball. There is no baseball in sight, on the horizon, on the cusp, in the crosshairs, nada.

Last time things screeched to a halt, it was due mostly to the pandemic raging across the country. Of course, there were still petty disputes between the have-plenties and have-littles, and the end result was a swath of greed from the owners that pushed the 2020 season into a tiny, 60-game sized box. In the process, the priorities (nee, priority) of Fred Manrob and his squad of giblets became oh-so evident - he’s in charge of putting the most money in the pockets of the 30 MLB ownership groups as possible, product and history and every single thing else be damned.

This time, the pandemic is still raging, but it’s not the reason why things are stuck in the dry docks once again. This time, it was the expiration of the prior Collective Bargaining Agreement, and when Manrob, his giblets, and the MLBPA couldn’t come to a pre-deadline new agreement, baseball locked out its players in yet another money grab.

For those who cover some teams out there, that’s stuck them in a nebulous area where they get to wonder just how their team will try to win baseball games when things eventually get back to regular business. Maybe they’ll sign Carlos Correa! Or Kris Bryant! Or offer the Reds some burp cloths and a biscuit for Luis Castillo!

For those of us in Redsland, though, that’s simply not an option. Keep in mind the Reds rolled into the lockout pulling ripcords left and right, chucking anything that wasn’t tied down overboard like they were a low-rent Gordon Gekko in a canoe. Over here, when trying to ponder the future of the 2022 season, we’re left with less enjoyable options. Will they get more than a salary dump in a Sonny Gray deal? Maybe they’ll swap Shogo in a bad-contract trade to help get some other team under the Luxury Tax! Is Paul Maholm available on a minor-league deal with a spring training invite to compete for the 5th starter job?

None of that is fun. ‘Round here, we do our best to try to have fun. With that in mind, and with this being Friday, here’s an incomplete Friday List of articles we’re considering writing here at Red Reporter should the lockout go much longer into the future:

Is Fred Lewis’ nickname the greatest in Reds history?

Just how badly would a team of 26 Ron Gants kick your team’s ass

Why Cincinnati’s baseball team should change its name to the ‘Coneys’

Could Jesus hit a baseball farther than Adam Dunn?

Metamodern Sounds in Country Breakfast - An interview with former big leaguer Billy Butler

The exact distance from the GABP home bullpen to the trough urinal behind section 102 in Wrigley Field measured to the very last nanometer

Ryan Hendrix learns how to play an upside-down Fender Stratocaster left-handed

That time Jonny Gomes bench-pressed four full beer kegs

Why Dontrelle Willis has the coolest birthday of all time

Hedge funds that could partner with Joey Votto to buy the Cincinnati Reds/Coneys upon his retirement

Jeremy Hermida shouldda had a bigger chance, man

The four times Edinson Volquez almost won Rookie of the Year

VIDEO: Every single PA where Miguel Cairo walked up to Kings of Leon’s “Sex on Fire”

Could Joey Votto microwave a burrito so hot that He Himself could not eat it?

How playing squash left-handed could help Eugenio Suarez learn to beat the shift

VIDEO: Ryan Hendrix learns how to play an upside-down Fender Stratocaster left-handed

Has Reiver Sanmartin ever been to Sint Maarten?