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Good Morning, Charlie - Go back to bed

Sometimes the only way forward is down

Cincinnati Reds v Kansas City Royals Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images

A Good Thing - When this here ballclub was conceived and consecrated, it was declared that Luis Castillo and Sonny Gray were dual aces. Neither one earned Cy Young votes last year but they should have (recent analysis indicates there was an enormous pulsating asshole centered in the Cincinnati area that seems to have engaged in a process of “reverse-farting,” sucking all the available Cy Young votes into its mawing sphincter).

The bullpen farted (in the traditional direction) Castillo’s game, but in KC each one threw seven strong innings in turn. With Castillo pitching more like a pup tent and Sonny on the shelf most of the season so far, the soft part of the bullpen has had to pick up the slack and the team has been stung many, many times this year because of that. Getting expected production out of your stars is kind of a big deal when you are trying to plan up a World Series. So this is a good thing.

Another Good Thing - Joey Votto, the Maple of my Eye, is hitting like his old self. Since he returned from the injured list a month ago, he is slashing .293/.381/.525 with ten extra-base hits. His slash line for the season is up to .260/.345/.480, which isn’t All-Star level or anything but it is respectable. The Decline Phase is real and - as per usual with Anything Joey - I’m fascinated by it.

Remember a long time ago before the 2012 season when the Reds were really good and Joey was really good and so they did that contract extension? It is a long long time ago, but Joey’s peers were guys like Albert Pujols, Prince Fielder, and Adrian Gonzalez. I know it’s a long time ago and time has gotten especially long since then but try to remember because I think it is useful. Joey’s been bangin’ since you were suckin’ your mother’s dick. Show some respect.

Yet Another Shitawful Thing the World Is Doing To Itself - Because of this shit (/gestures wildly in all directions in a full-body spasm that idiots will say reminds them of Jim Carrey but the reals will quickly identify as being inspired more by the Steve Martin tradition) the 2020 Summer Olympic Games in Tokyo will happen in 2021 and no one will be around to see them.

Another Thing - I saw In The Heights a few weeks ago. It was a delightful experience seeing it in the theater. I hadn’t been to one in nearly two years and movies is like my favorite and it’s a big pretty song-and-dance almost non-stop for over two hours. It was ten thousand funs.

My wife has been playing the soundtrack a lot since. I think the most striking thing about it is how it reminds me of something like Grapes of Wrath. All these poor people are working hard and chasing little dreams that make up their entire worlds. They sing inspiring songs to each other about how they are gonna work hard and save up some money and realize these little dreams someday. One dreams of proving her humanity to the rich kids at Stanford, another wants to buy a beach house in the Dominican Republic and just vibe, and another wants to be a fashion designer or some shit.

They face a number of trials and tribulations along the way, as abuela dies and they find out the kid is undocumented and one can’t get an apartment in a nicer neighborhood because of segregation and systemic racism and all that. The only differences between the stories are the endings and the tone. In Steinbeck’s story the girl has a miscarriage because the grinding poverty literally breaks her body to the point where she can no longer foster life. Lin-Manuel Miranda strikes a somewhat brighter chord with his. It is Disney, after all.

It marks it clearly as a relic of its time. The original first ran on Broadway in 2008 (and won the damn Tony!) when America had already put George W Bush and his phalanx of war profiteers in the rearview and Obama was hip-hop and hope was dope. The whole time I’m listening to these songs over and over and I can’t help but wonder how the story would end if it were written today rather than 15 years ago.

Time is all there is anymore.