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Good Morning, Charlie - Hobos, Oboes, and Bonobos

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Milwaukee Brewers v Cincinnati Reds Photo by Emilee Chinn/Getty Images

A Good Thing - In the last 30 days, Kyle Farmer has hit .313/.390/.582. I have been summarily dismissive of the Farmdog from the very beginning. He looks and smells like every other soft-hitting defensively versatile white dude Reds fans have celebrated since The Shit King. As a man of great dignity and self-respect, I’m reflexively repulsed by such vulgars.

So of course the Reds made him the everyday shortstop. Not because he earned it in any way, for sure, but because he was quite literally the last available option. So he failed upward, too, which always rankles my geathers. And he hit like shit. I got pretty fond of saying “Kyle Farmer always reminds me of how cheap Bob is.”

But god damn have you seen him recently? He is a better glove at short than I expected, and now he’s hitting like Fernando! I’m going to have to take back some of the things I’ve said about him.

A Joey Thing -

God bless our righteous prince and may he always remain so.

A Weird Thing - I guess some folks are all sugared up over this?

I thought it was awesome. Javy got the best of it, won the game, and expressed himself in a manner consistent with those facts.

Now, either MLB is going to fine him and suspend him for being uppity, or they’ll make some national promotions around it. Or maybe both. Probably both. But whatever they do, they’ll fux it up.

A Crooked Thing - The governor is a crook who employs crooks and cavorts and fraternizes with crooks, so he’s a little confused as to why some folks think it’s a big deal that he hired a crook to do some crooked shit. I mean, it’s right there on his shirt.