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Things I muttered when I heard the Tejay Antone news

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A Friday List

MLB: Cincinnati Reds at Chicago Cubs Matt Marton-USA TODAY Sports

The Reds’ bullpen is eating-your-seed-corn desperate for some quality innings and wouldn’t you know it their last good hog caught the fever.

I like a good cuss. “Shit” is a personal favorite. As cuss words go, shit is a five-tool swear. It can hit for power, it is really versatile and reliable. But with my kids hanging around all the time now I’ve had to exercise restraint with the profanities. You know, because of society. I may not be able to function among others of my species, but I still feel a faint obligation to try to make my spawn presentable.

Anyway here’s a not-exhaustive list of the PG things I muttered in the moments after I read the news that Tejay Antone is heading to the IL:

son of brother’s busted brunch buffet budget

kick my bucket like an out-of-date Carrabba’s gift card

I don’t believe this horse noise

crud snugglers

ol dirty tractors

Bob can kiss my dishwasher

these joshwagons don’t stand a chance now that’s for sure

crack my basket and start the picnic

when is Hunter fucking Greene getting here