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Good Morning, Charlie - If The American President had been written and directed by David Lynch

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The freshman girls at his high school knew all about Alex’s knuckler

Chicago White Sox v Cincinnati Reds Photo by Dylan Buell/Getty Images

A Good Thing - Anything good happen in last night’s game? I went to bed early when I saw that the rain was gonna delay things. If you saw anything good in that game, please let me know in the comments. But yeah, I got a decent night’s sleep. That’s a good thing.

A Hilariously Stupid Thing - Amir Garrett received a seven-game suspension for getting his sugars up after striking out universally reviled dickhead Anthony Rizzo. Javy Baez, who I used to think was cool, got super upset about it and jumped out of the dugout to go after AG. Benches cleared and they all stood around doing that thing where they all find someone to hold back from fighting rather than actually fighting. Baez received a fine.

A Weird Thing - President Butterscotch and his wife posed for a picture with former-President Peanuts and it’s really weird:

How weird is that? It looks like a still from a Talking Heads video. Also weird is that Joe is only like six years younger than Jimmy. I guess Joe is better about remembering to take his vitamin pills. I bet Jill sets a timer for him.

A Booky Thing - A while back a friend and I started reading Kim Stanley Robinson’s newest, The Ministry for the Future. I had read a bit about it in passing and it was described as something like utopian socialist science fiction, which lit up my own personal SEO.

We didn’t finish it. It’s boring, honestly. The conceit is neat and there’s some flashes of really good writing and compelling characters, but I can’t get over thinking that most every character I’m supposed to sympathize with is wearing a lanyard.

Anyway, Olúfẹ́mi O. Táíwò is a philosopher (and a worthwhile twitter follow) and he wrote about the book and political change and how it operates in a relatively affluent society like the US as opposed to the less-affluent societies like India. I rec reading the article and maybe don’t sweat reading the book.

A Gum Thing - I like gum. Y’all chew gum? I’m almost exclusively a Big Red chewer. I take ‘em two sticks at at time. I’m up to almost two packs a day.

A Thing about Children’s Programming - On Peg+Cat this morning Peg and Cat formed a band called The Pentagirls and it was all about pentagons. They show up to a gig and Peg says, “We’re The Pentagirls! And this is Cat, he’s our manager. That means he carries our stuff.”

I could go on here about the nonsensical lunacy of impressing a cat into service as a pack animal, but what really crooked my picture frame was her peculiar definition of a “manager.” The dude who carries your shit used to be called a slave, you know. That don’t hit the ear real nice though so we say things like personal attendant and executive assistant and so on. Calling that a manager though is some real bizarre Kafkaesque doublespeak kinda thing. It was a bit too linguistically and epistemologically challenging for 6:30 in the morning.

Have a good day. Don’t get hurt and don’t hurt anyone else.