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Red Reporter picks the Cincinnati Reds to win the World Series

Always bet on Red.

Johnny Bench and Sparky Anderson with Champagne

Following the completion of the 2020 MLB regular season by basically everyone but the lucky-ass St. Louis Cardinals on Sunday, the 2020 MLB playoff matchups were set. The bracket was released, fresh with a 16 team format that the sport has never seen used before.

We here at Red Reporter pride ourselves on our abilities to use our own proprietary simulation systems to attempt to estimate precisely how the future will project, and immediately went to work attempting to figure out who, exactly, was going to win the World Series in this odd, odd year. And after crunching the numbers into the wee hours of Tuesday morning, we have officially reached our verdict.

With at least one RR precinct reporting, we can call this race. The Cincinnati Reds will be your 2020 World Series champions. Here is a look at the complete bracket following the final round of simulations:

Per our best estimates, the Reds will take the World Series trophy following a grueling 7 game series against, I dunno, the Yankees or some shit. Shogo Akiyama will reach base more times than Billy Hatcher, Joey Votto will walk 12 times, and Jose Garcia will hit precisely one walk-off homer to win Game 4. Lucas Sims will strike out every single batter he faces, while the lone run Luis Castillo surrenders will be an inside-the-park dinger by Gleyber Torres due mostly to the fact that LF Jesse Winker was asleep in the outfield from all the inactivity against his ace.

It will be a test, to be sure. The Reds will have to get through Atlanta before taking down Juan Pierre and the teal-monster that is the Florida Marlins, at which point they’ll come up against the victors of the Skip Schumaker Honorary Cup of Grit. This Reds club, though, has precisely what it takes to make those grits edible - white cheddar cheese and Tapatio hot sauce.

It’s postseason baseball, folks, and the Reds are part of it. You’ll get your first taste of it on TV today shortly after 2 PM ET, with the Reds set to begin their journey tomorrow at noon ET.

Welcome back, playoff baseball. Let’s get that journey rolling, Reds.