Disco Demolition Night: Cardinals slam DeSclafani, Reds 7-5

The Joe Nuxhall Memorial Honorary Star of the Game

If you came into this game much as I did, sufficiently intrigued by the trades of the day and more optimistic than you otherwise might have been, then this was not a fun baseball game to sit through. I know because I did.

Irregardless, we must name a Joe Nuxhall Memorial Honorary Star of the Game, if only to honor the memory of Joe Nuxhall and his wont to name a star of the game after every game. The star of the game for this one was Michael Lorenzen for doing the Lord’s work in throwing 3+ innings of shutout mop-up baseball in relief of beleaguered new dad Anthony DeSclafani.

Special mentions to Joey Votto and Jesse Winker for scratching out a pair of singles apiece and to Eugenio Suarez for his four RBIs.

Key Plays

• Tommy Edman and Paul Goldschmidt roped back-to-back doubles in the top of the first to get Disco’s pants wet before the party even began. 1-0 Toiletbirds.
• Joey Votto proved himself once again - as he has so many times over his Hall-of-Fame career - to be the greatest lead-off hitter in baseball history. He led off the first with a bust-hustlin’ infield single, shrewdly advanced to second on a passed ball, and scored from second on an RBI single from Nick Castellanos. Rickey Henderson called him personally in the dugout to congratulate him.
• The Cards got single runs across in the second and third due mostly to Disco not being able to get outs. You know he has a three-day-old baby at home? I wouldn’t be pitching good tonight either to be quiet honest.
• The fourth inning is what turned out the lights and sent all the dancers home. Paul DeJong was gifted a big fat honky fastball in the heart of the plate and he immediately sent it to the Handle Bar. Or whatever they call that place now. 7-1 Cardinals.
• That’s when Lorenzen came in and the game and everything to real quiet. He threw four innings allowing just two hits and one walk with three strikeouts. He looked great.
• Eugenio Suarez came up on the ninth with Votto on third and Winker on first and he chased them all around the bases until they were all high-fiving at home plate. 7-5 bad guys.

Stefi Graph

Other Notes

• The Reds mustered four measly hits tonight against Dakota Hudson.
• I know how much of a big stupid idiot I am so I don’t need any editorializing from you in response to this, but I’m still optimistic about this team.
• Votto and Winker’s singles and Suarez’s homer in the ninth were all three hammered on the screws. Jim Day mentioned that Winker’s liner was clocked at 110 mph. StatCast is jams.
• Mike Moustakas is starting to really concern me.

Jamz