Fred Regorter Re-writes “Lost in the Woods” from Frozen II

Having been quarantined with my two kids, aged four and two, for a solid few weeks now, I have seen bits pieces of Disney’s Frozen II nearly two-dozen times already. I hum the songs all day and dream about them during what little sleep I get. It is far and away the worst element of this quarantine for me (at least until all the death starts really ramping up here soon).

And so I have written alternate lyrics to the chorus of “Lost in the Woods”

Now I know it’s really dumb / but I still owe on that boat

And my dog is super weird / look how he licks at the floor

Give my best now to your mom / you know she always liked me

I collected baseball cards / but they’re not worth too much now

Can I have a Cherry Coke? / You know it’s the best of the Cokes

It’s only fifteen dollars down / and fifteen dollars a month

You ask your mom I’ll ask mine / And we can have a sleepover