Adam Dunn once hit a ball 535 feet. That’s far. How far?

The morning of August 10th, 2004 was innocuous enough for Cincinnati Reds fans. The sheen on Great American Ball Park was still novel enough, and fans were still going to pack the park before school got back to business. The Reds had been 50-44 as recently as July 20th, but a brutal slide that saw them lose 11 of 12 pretty well torpedoed any chance the season would end up a good one, and a Monday off-day had just been quite welcome after yet another frustrating west coast trip.

The Los Angeles Dodgers were in town, a club some 20 games over .500 en route to a playoff berth. Former All Star Jose Lima was to be their starter, he en route to a 13-5 season back when those numbers meant something. By the end of the day, LA claimed a 5-2 victory, a tangible result that tangibly helped them on their way that season.

Of course, neither the win nor the loss had the focus of anyone who witnessed that game. It didn’t then, and it sure as hell doesn’t now. On that day, against the best well-wishes of physics, Adam Dunn hit a ball so damn far it changed zip codes. It crossed borders. It leapt.

After being summarily pummelled by Dunn’s bat, the ball mercifully came back to earth some 535 feet from whence it was contacted. It was the longest homer in GABP history, still is the longest homer in GABP history, and is still the single most ridiculous dinger I have ever seen in my life.

It’s been a big few months for the Big Donkey. He turned 40 last fall, and backed it up by receiving a vote on a real, live baseball Hall of Fame ballot. He probably even had a Bud Light or five in that time, too. So, in celebration of the Donk and his epic, historic donking, here are just a few ways to help quantify and process just how freaking far 535 feet really is.

- 51,360 eighths of an inch

- 28 of the Toyota Tundras that will never be hit by dingers and given away at GABP

- 1070 Skyline cheese coneys (no mustard, no onion)

- 91 Skip Schumakers and 1/3rd of a Skip Schumaker (roughly a Skip Schumaker torso)

- 82 Adam Dunns and 1/3rd of an Adam Dunn (roughly an Adam Dunn torso)

- 535 Eugenio Suarez chewing-gum superbubbles

- 0.0103% of the entire length of the Ohio River

- 0.05% of the distance walked by Joey Votto to 1B in his career (to date)

- 3.4 times the entire distance covered by Dunn in LF in his career

- 2568 Dusty Baker approved Australian chewing sticks

- 1351.57 cans of Bud Light

As we trudge on through our quarantines and pine for baseball at some point in the future, at least we’ve got this, Adam from Milwaukee, and other mythic Dunn exploits to look back on and cherish.

Thank you for your dingers, Dunner.