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Cincinnati Reds trade values - A Friday List

We used analysis in our analysis.

Kansas City Royals v Cincinnati Reds Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images

In honor of Black Friday, we thought it time to take stock of the actual trade values of our beloved Cincinnati Reds.

Who is 20% off? Who is so desirable they’re already out of stock? Which players can be replicated on black markets around the world and replaced at a fraction of the cost? Exactly how many of the 38 players on the 40 man roster and copious number of prospects do we actually want to rank in this tedious process haphazardly put together in less than half an hour the morning after drinking too much red wine on Thanksgiving?

Through a distinct proprietary process concocted at Red Reporter headquarters, we have come to a conclusion on pertinent metrics to use in this evaluation. We’ve applied a combination of age, production, height, dietary habits, team control, health, jersey number, name originality, marketability, FIFA skill level, options remaining, facial hair, bubble-blowing ability, shoe size, dollars owed, and uniform tightness to break down the Top 10 trade chips currently in the Cincinnati Reds franchise, should they ever choose to move someone in a roster reconstruction this winter.

To the list...

  1. Luis Castillo
  2. Eugenio Suarez
  3. Nick Senzel
  4. Sonny Gray
  5. Tyler Mahle
  6. Tyler Stephenson
  7. Jesse Winker
  8. Amir Garrett
  9. Kyle Boddy
  10. Lucas Sims

It was a tough go to wade through such a loaded set of names. We opted to omit prospects who had not yet reached the big leagues in this exercise, meaning the likes of Nick Lodolo, Hunter Greene, Quinten Sefcik, AJ Bumpass, Zaid Walker, and other fine, talented youngsters with ample trade value weren’t explored in this. Rest assured, they’ll be cracking the bigs soon enough, however, at which point in time they’ll quickly be climbing this list. Also, Kyle Boddy is on this list, because fuck yes Kyle Boddy is on this list.