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10 things to think about baseball

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think along with me here

Wild Card Round - Cincinnati Reds v Atlanta Braves - Game Two Photo by Todd Kirkland/Getty Images

So much thinking goes on in baseball. Managers think about how to fill out the lineup. Scouts think about how long that pitcher’s arm is. Players think about swing the bat or don’t swing it. You probably didn’t think about how much thinking goes on in baseball!

I was thinking about this today and it got me thinking: here’s some other things about baseball we can think about.

  1. If you hold up a baseball and hold it up between your face and the sun, the baseball is exactly the same size as the sun.
  2. Baseball really is the thinking man’s sport.
  3. I think Mookie Betts is what you get when you think about what if Joe Morgan was a muppet.
  4. I think baseball should better leverage their regional appeal and restructure the league along the lines of European soccer.
  5. I think if I was forced to fistfight a former MLB manager and I was given the choice between Jim Leyland and Frank Robinson, I’m fighting Leyland every time.
  6. I think the Reds would be better at winning baseball games if they scored more runs and either A. prevented more runs, or B. prevented the same number of runs or just a teeny bit more.
  7. I think Joey Votto’s nickname should have been Red Menace and we should have codified that years ago and I think that is a catastrophic cultural failure of this place.
  8. I think tweens nowadays wear too much chapstick.
  9. I think this winter is gonna be a scoatch worse than most people think.
  10. I think baseball this year felt like trying to have Christmas the same way we always did but this year we’re all broke and grandma died and mom and dad split up and trying to have Christmas the same way only highlighted just how painfully different it was.