The world of Rock & Roll lost a titan earlier this month when Eddie Van Halen passed away. The guitar virtuoso was part maestro, part illuminator, pushing the genre forward in ways few had ever even begun to conjure.
Fuck cancer. Eddie was 65.
I have zero musical talent, and can give no audio homage to Eddie’s greatness. What I can do, in a very minuscule way, is do my bit part in keeping their music alive and rockin’, something I’m sure it will easily do whether I try or not.
Anyhoo, few jams get my skin crawling and my fist pumping like Panama, and in honor of that jam, here is an incomplete list of names you can sing to Van Halen’s Panama.
Adam Dunn
Tug McGraw
Gerrit Cole
Arky Vaughan
Travis Shaw!
Barry Bonds
Buddy Bell
Warren Spahn
Ryan Braun
Randy Wolf
Albert Belle
Tommy Bond
Rusty Staub
Whitey Ford
Tony Clark
Robin Yount
Noodles Hahn
Gene Tenace
Aaron Hill
Tommy John
David Cone
Jonny Gomes
Corey Hart
BRANDON MOSS
BRANDON MO-OSS
BRANDON MOSS!