Pittsburgh pirates Reds, sells them on black market for half-price

The Joe Nuxhall Memorial Honorary Star of the Game

No.

Key Plays

• The Reds helped the Pirates derp their way to a pair of runs in the Bottom of the 3rd. Jacob Stallings plenty well singled off Alex Wood to get thing started, but Wood later issued a 2-out walk to Kevin Newman to put another runner on the basepaths. That burned when Bryan Reynolds dumped a double into the RF corner, one that scored both runners when Derek Dietrich derped being the cutoff man, letting the ball past him after deflecting it to allow Newman to roll all the way home. Reds trailed, 2-0.
• Wood pitched himself into a yank-worthy jam in the Bottom of the 6th, walking a pair of dudes before hitting Josh Bell with a pitch. That prompted a trip to the showers in favor of Lucas Sims, but that didn’t work, either. Jose Osuna singled in a run, but that really became completely irrelevant a batter later when Colin Moran yanked a hanging breaking ball into the RF bleachers for a freaking fracking grand slam. Reds trailed, 7-0.
• Josh Bell clubbed a 3-run dinger off whoever was pitching in whatever inning it was. Reds trailed, 10-0.
• It was 12-0 eventually. Look it up, you masochists.
• Good lord, then it was 14-0. I think that was it. I’m pretty sure it was.

Tony Graphanino

Other Notes

• Sunday’s series finale will feature fan favorite Trevor Bauer on the mound for the Reds opposite...well, the MLB at-bat app still has TBD listed for Pittsburgh. TBD probably has an ERA around 6 and will throw a 2-hit shutout of these Reds, though. First pitch of that one will come around 1:35 PM ET.
• Tunes.