Brandon Larson Honorary Star Of The Night
TJ Friedl - 2 for 3, 3 R, 2 BB, SB
Remember when the Reds were super sketchy and picked up a projected 2nd round pick as an undrafted free agent and gave him a big six figure signing bonus? I do. It was was TJ Friedl. Not a lot of power in the guy, but there is an advanced approach at the plate and the willingness to take some walks. Exciting prospect. With all the things going wrong there are plenty of reasons to look back and see some positives.
Jose “Porky” Lopez wasn’t great, he wasn’t good, but we’ll give him a passable. He gave up 3 earned runs over 5.2 innings. He struck out 5 on 2 walks and 5 hits. Kyle “Rusty” Shackelford struck out 2 in a scoreless inning. Brandon “Mason” Dixon was 2 for 4 with a RBI, and Dilson “Baby Pickle” Herrera was 2 for 4 with a RBI and a run scored. Nick Senzel had the night off.
Someone pitches today at 11:00 am ET but the new format either isn’t showing me a pitcher or none are listed. I could do some extra research, but SBN don’t pay me enough for that. Ya wanna suck butt? You get suck butt effort.
Keury “Nooooooooo” Mella finally had a bad start which would have happened eventually. He allowed 5 earned runs over 6 IP on 7 hits, 2 walks, 2 strikeouts, and 2 dingers. Victor “PAIN” Payano struck out 2 in 2 scoreless. Aristides “Horse Shit” Aquino was 2 for 3 with a a solo dinger, Josh “Man Eater” VanMeter was 1 for 2 with 2 walks, and Shed “I love You” Long “Time” was 1 for 4 with a RBI and a walk. I’d be remiss if I didn’t bring up one of my favorite players, whom isn’t a shitty President, Chadwick Tromp who also walked twice. He’s probably walked at least twice as far this night than Trump has in his entire life. He’s the healthiest catcher of all time... period dot period.
TBD is on the mound at 11:30 am CT.
Ty “Poppin’” Boyles got the job done. He went 5.2 innings while only giving up 1 earned run on 5 hits, 1 walk, and 3 strikeouts. He’s had a rough go of it, but we’ll take a start like this. Kevin “King” Canelon struck out 1 in 1.1 scoreless, and Joel “SOFA KING” Kuhnel struck out 4 in 1.1 scoreless to pick up his 2nd save of the season. TJ “Of The Hill” Friedl walked twice while also going 2 for 3 with 3 runs scored and a steal. Lassy Collymore hit a solo dinger and walked, and Bruce “Yawny” Yari went 2 for 4 with a RBI. Mitch “Mr. Ed” Nay also went 2 for 3 with a triple and a RBI.
TBD is on the mound at 10:35 PM ET. I finally figured out how to find the potential starters. Dumb.
Austin “Animal Farm” Orewiler finally hit a bump. He allowed 5 earned runs (6 total) over 5.2 innings on 8 hits, 4 walks, and 3 strikeouts. Sarkis “OOOH HAHA” Ohanian pitched 1.1 scoreless, Tyler “Jimmy” Buffett struck out 2 over 1 scoreless, and Cory Thompson struck out 1 over 1 scoreless to pick up his 2nd save. John “Sandstorm” Sansone hit a 3-run tator tot, Narciso “I’m Not A” Crook went 2 for 4 with 4 RBI and 2 runs scored, and Hendrik “Orange” Clementina went 2 for 4 with a run scored. The Dragons are 17-12 by the way. Cool.
Adrian Rodriguez will start at 7:00 PM ET. This time the new format listed the potential starting pitchers for the next day. What a novel idea.