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If the Reds were a hockey team instead of a baseball team

A Friday List

MLB: Atlanta Braves at Cincinnati Reds
High sticking, ya hoser!
Aaron Doster-USA TODAY Sports

The Lord Stanley Derby is upon us, which is always a lot of fun. Playoff hockey is right up the list of coolest sporting events. It goes on forever (or like two months I guess) which can be exhausting, but otherwise the games are usually really competitive (they should just make all the time overtime!) and usually all the best players put their amazing talents on display.

Your local team (local to Ohio, anyway) got bounced out of the first round earlier this week, which is a bummer. The Jackets have never won a playoff series, but after nearly two decades of sucking it is pretty cool to see them put together a good young core that can contend for a few years yet.

And the Las Vegas line is the top seed in the west, which is unbelievable! That’s all the fun you need, if you ask me.

Anyway, here is what it would look like if the Cincinnati Reds were a hockey team instead of a baseball team.

Shooter Gendarme
Tooker Bjornhorst
Alexandr Blanchekov
Adel Duvalski
Jessen Winkenen
Slapshot Bailey (a terrible name for a goalie)
Egon Shiele
Emil Garrote
Joey Votto
Sticky Peraltsen
Phil Canada Gosselin
Sergei Scheblonski
Bill Hamilton