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Farmer’s Only Up All Night: Everyone Loses Edition

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Arizona’s got the beginning of a roster, but it didn’t win either.

Reds v Cubs
Back like “Hanging by a Moment” and pleather halter tops
Photo by Mark Lyons/Getty Images

Coming to you a bit later to make up for the early Reds game, here’s the Farmer’s Only for Tuesday’s games. Don’t worry, you didn’t miss anything.

The big news is the first trickle of a roster for the AZLien Reds has come out. No big names yet – though some good names, like Darren Shred. The coaching staff is comprised of former no-hit shortstop Jose Nieves, former Reds mini-legend pitcher Elmer Dessens, former White Sox stalwart and incisive political critic James Baldwin. Todd Takayoshi, who was a Pensacola coach last year, rounds out the staff.

Louisville Bats: 2, Columbus Clippers, 3

Cody Reed had a brilliant start: 6IP, 4H, 1ER, 2BB, 9K. But James “The President” Buchanan blew it in the 8th inning.

Philip “Magic” Ervin went 2-3 with a double, a walk and a caught-stealing. Sebastian Elizalde went 2-4 with a steal and Brandon Dixon went 2-4 as well. This was not what they call an exciting game.

Brandon Finnegan has a rehab start tonight at 7:05 p.m. ET. He’ll face the Clippers’ Shawn “I’m not a mermaid, I’m a” Morimando.

Pensacola was rained out

They play the Chattanooga Lookouts tonight at 7:15 p.m. ET. Luis Castillo is scheduled to pitch against TBD, so your guess is as good as mine as to what will happen.

Daytona Tortugas, 5: St. Lucie Mets, 11

St. Lucie is a city of ~150,000 with no discernable downtown, about equidistant from Orlando and Miami. It is not metropolitan. But that didn’t stop them from mowing down the Tortugas like a riding lawnmower in a swamp.

Jesus Reyes is ready for the Reds starting rotation. He went 3.2 IP, 5H, 7ER, 1BB, 1K. Even Tanner Rainey gave up a run in an inning of work.

The turtle bats weren’t bad. Shed Long went 2-3 with a double and two walks. Nick Senzel went 2-4 with a double and a walk. Alf-Rod went 2-5 and T.J. Friedl went 2-5...wait, TJ Friedl? Yep, he got called up to A+ recently.

Wendolyn Bautista already started a game today, but you’ll have to tune in tomorrow to hear how it went.

Dayton’s Midwest East All Stars: 2, Bad Guys Midwest, ah, West All Stars: 5

Yesterday was the Midwest League All-Star Game. Tyler Stephenson got the start for the Easterners at catcher and went 0-2. Michael Beltre, who got the start in RF despite hitting .253/.355/.337 so far, went 0-2 with a walk. Scott Moss pitched a clean inning and Wennington Romero did not, giving up a dinger in his .2 IP.

The Dragons pick it up again on Thursday after an off-day today.

The Rays have a prospect named Miles Mastrobuoni.

Billings Mustangs: 3, Missoula Osprey: 5

What kind of rad name for a team is the Missoula Osprey? I digress, Jhon “da gawd” De Jesus gave up 3R, 2ER in his 1.2 IP and Luis Alecis gave up another 2ER in his 3IP to put the game out of reach early. Cory Thompson, recovering shortstop, pitched a scoreless inning though.

Montrell Marshall went 3-4 with a single, triple and a homer. Miles “The Mississauga Missile” Gordon went 2-5.

Billings will play tonight at 9:05 p.m. ET, with Tyler “Walter” Mondile hosting the Osprey’s Kai-Wei Lin.