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Farmers Only Weekend Harvest: Gavin LaValley Is The All Star Of My Heart

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Everyone else is pretty cool too.

Friday

Louisville Bats 1, Norfolk Tide 2

Austin “Not Scott Moss” Ross pitched pretty well. He gave up 1 earned run over 6 innings while allowing 4 hits, 3 walks, and striking out 6. Uncle Jesse Winker went 2 for 4 with a double and a RBI, and Dilson “Dillseed” Herrera was 2 for 2 with a walk.

Pensacola Blue Wahoos 9, Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp 3 (F/7)

Brandon “Tim” Finnegan got a rehab start and was pretty nifty. He pitched 4 scoreless innings with only a hit allowed and 4 strikeouts. Ariel “Fish Person” Hernandez pitched a scoreless inning of relief. Alex “The Great” Blandino hit a 3 run dinger, and Adrian “Neato” Nieto was 3 for 4 with 2 runs scored and a solo homer of his own. Aristides “Heiress Titties” Aquino was 2 for 4 with 2 RBI and a run scored.

Pensacola Blue Wahoos 0, Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp 1 (F/7)

Tyler “Popping” Mahle was on his game yet again, but his start was shortened because he’s starting in Tuesday’s All Star Game because he’s the greatest pitcher ever. Mahle gave up an earned run over 3 innings while allowing 4 hits and striking out three. Jose “Porky” Lopez piggybacked (I got puns) on Mahle’s start by throwing 3 shutout innings with 3 strikeouts and only 2 hits given up. Leon “Deon” Landry was 2 for 3 and Blake “Lively” Trahan was 1 for 2 with a walk.

Dayton Dragons 4, Fort Wayne TinCaps 1

Scott “Not Austin Ross” Moss had by far his best outing of the year. He pitched 6.2 innings and gave up only 1 earned run. He allowed 2 hits, no walks, and struck out 11. Yes, that’s an eleven with a 1 next to a 1. Aaron “Ass Floss” Fossas pitched 1.1 scoreless with 2 strikeouts, and Ryan “Jimi” Hendrix struck out the side in the 9th to pick up his 6th save. Jose “Shut Up” Siri was 2 for 5 with 2 doubles, and “Butch” Cassidy Brown was 2 for 3 with a double and 2 RBI.

Saturday

Louisville Bats 8, Norfolk Tide 6 (F/16)

Sloppy Sal Romano had a rough one. He gave up 5 earned runs over 1 inning. He ended up walking 5 and giving up 3 hits. He also threw 51 pitches. Barrett “Ass Tin” Astin pitched 4 innings of scoreless ball with 2 strikeouts, Kyle “Make You” McMyne pitched 2.1 without giving up an earned run and striking out 2, Kevin “Rusty” Shackelford struck out 6 over 3.2 innings scoreless innings, Alejandro Chacin “Amy” pitched 2 scoreless with 2 strikeouts, and Hernan “Does It All” Iribarren got the win after pitching 3 innings scoreless innings. Iribarren has a 1.08 ERA on the season.

Whew.

Hernan “Bumgarner Who?” Iribarren, who was indubitably the player of the game, was 4 for 7 with a double, 2 runs scored, a RBI, and a walk. Jesse Winker doubled and went 3 for 6 with a walk, Cedric “Deer” Hunter was 3 for 6 with a run scored and 2 RBI, and Sebastian “Crabs” Elizalde was 3 for 6 with a run scored and a RBI.

FSL South All-Stars 2, FSL North All-Stars 5

This is the only game of the weekend that had to do with Daytona because they’re on All Star break. They also haven’t played a baseball game in Daytona since June 12th because rain. But, what’s cool about the All Star game is that it was packed with some pretty damn good Cincinnati prospects. Tanner “Mount” Rainey represented the Reds out of the bullpen and pitched a scoreless inning with a strikeout. The hitting is what we need to talk about because the young Reds showed up and showed off. “Tool” Shed Long was 2 for 2 with 2 runs scored. Nick “Senzsexy” Senzel walked once and Chris “R U” Okey “Annie” had a sacrifice fly. The MVP of the game was Gavin “Goes Deep In” LaValley because he is a grown goddamn man. LaValley came to the plate 3 times and hit two 2-run bombs to accumulate 4 RBI. SO STRONG! Good on you, young man.

Daytona will try to get back to it on Monday with Wendolyn Bautista on the mound at 5:35 for Game 1, and TheBootyDiaper on the mound for Game 2.

Dayton Dragons 4, Fort Wayne TinCaps 7

Wennington “Badington” Romero got roughed up again. He gave up 4 earned runs over 3 innings pitched. Though, that seemed to be a bunch of bad luck. He only gave up 3 hits, no walks, and struck out 4, but he did give up a big homer. Jesse “James” Adams pitched a scoreless inning out of the bullpen. Taylor “TayTay” Trammell was 2 for 5 with a 3-run dinger, and Jose “Stupid” Siri was 3 for 5 with 2 runs scored and solo bomb.

Sunday

Louisville Bats 3, Norfolk Tide 4

Jackson “Mississippi” Stephens really needed to pick up the slack after the bullpen got burnt on Saturday, and he didn’t disappoint. He gave up 3 earned runs over 8 innings. 8 hits were allowed with no walks and 6 strikeouts. Hernan “The Barbarian” Iribarren continued to be the All Star Louisville needs with a 2 for 4 day with a run scored and a RBI. Sebastian “Under The Sea” Elizalde was 3 for 3, Phillip “Phlerve” Ervin was 2 for 4, and Brandon “Mason” Dixon was 2 for 4 with 2 runs scored.

Homer Bailey will be rehabbing again at 7:05 PM ET.

Pensacola Blue Wahoos 2, Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp 3 (F/7)

“Party” Deck McGuire gave up 3 runs (2 earned) over 4 innings while allowing 4 hits, 1 walk, and 2 strikeouts. Robert “Good” Stock pitched 2 scoreless with 2 strikeouts. Alex “Blandiyes” Blandino hit another solo dinger, and “Yo” Adrian Nieto was 2 for 3 with a double and a RBI.

Pensacola Blue Wahoos 0, Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp (F/7)

Luis “Lou Hiss” Castillo picked up the minor league complete game and the loss when he gave up the lone run in the 7th inning. He pitched pretty well, giving up only 1 earned run over 6.1 innings with 3 hits, 1 walk, and 5 strikeouts on the rest of his line. Leon Landry hit a double and was 2 for 3.

Pensacola will be on break until Thursday.

Dayton Dragons 3, Fort Wayne TinCaps 9

Ty “Inflamed” Boyles had better days. He gave up 5 earned runs over 2 innings. He gave up 3 homers, 7 hits, no walks, and struck out 1. Jesse Stallings pitched a scoreless inning with a strikeout, and Carlos “Macho Man” Mochorro struck out 2 in a scoreless inning. Tyler “Bat Flips” Stephenson got a chance to show of his viral talent when he went 2 for 4 with a double and 2-run dong. Michael Beltre also went 2 for 4 with a run scored.

Dayton goes on their own All Star break and doesn’t play until Thursday.