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This Week in JPEGs

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New season, new coloring blog

picture courtesy of me, you idiots

Hi, everybody! At this point, this stupid blogtrash pretty much runs on inertia, so it probably won't be ending anytime soon. To the 14 people who actually pay attention to this, I wanna say thanks and get a life.

Listen, most reasonable people don't give this Reds team much of a chance to make the playoffs this year. Hell, most reasonable people don't give them a chance to even be .500. But even if they won't be very good, I really think this team is going to be fun. And you know, that's really the most important thing. This space has always celebrated how fun it is to be a Reds fan, so I'm pretty excited. To wit:

Red Reporter Celebrates Joey Votto's Game 2 Dingerooni

Game 2 was a blast this year, as it is most every year. I got to see some old friends and even got to meet a new one (Hey, Tuff Gong!). The weather looked real dicey, but the game was only delayed about an hour and, a few drizzles aside, the weather was pretty nice for most of the night.

Jared Eickoff and Brandon Finnengan had themselves a good ol' good one, taking turns posting goose eggs on the scoreboard. But Red Reporter's patron saint, Joey Votto, broke up the shutout in the bottom of the seventh inning. If you check out the highlight, you can see the Red Reporter cadre partying like idiots. Hey, friends!

Adam Duvall, One Handsome Son of a Bitch

Thursday afternoon's game was a bit chilly, but the sun was shining most of the day. The Reds ended up topping the Phillies 7-4 thanks in no small part to Adam Duvall and his laser-blast wappo in the bottom of the seventh. The afternoon sun was shining bright so Duvall hit with his shades on like he's fucking Joe Cool or some shit. That handsome son of a bitch sure can hit.

Michael Lorenzen, Double Threat

Fer serious, this team is loaded with fun and interesting players. Michael Lorenzen might be my favorite right now. It looks like the Reds might deploy him in a number of different capacities, which is way totes fun. He's gonna thrown multiple innings out of the bullpen, serving as an old-fashioned fireman. But also, as he demonstrated on Thursday, he can hit pretty well. He pinch-hit for Cody Reed and crushed a 420-foot blastoma to right-center. He's a throwback double-threat like legendary song-and-dance man, Fred Astaire. It's Swing Time!