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Imagining The 2016 Cincinnati Reds as Pokemon

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Gotta Catch Em All

Pokemon Go has swept the nation over the past week, making the inner 6 year old in a lot of us go crazy. I grew up on Pokemon. I watched all of the original movies, and collected all of the cards. In fact, I believe we still have the VCR of “Pokemon: The Movie 2000” somewhere in our closet. I grew up on this, and it made writing this article really, really easy.

The first half of the season is over for our Reds, and lightly put, it did not go well. The purpose of this piece is to help you forget about how bad we have been.

One quick Pokemon story for you before we get started. When I was in fourth grade, I was obsessed with Pokemon. My friends and I would bring our cards to school every day and trade and battle. We were absolutely crazy. One day, my teacher took my cards because I had them out during a study time when we weren’t supposed to. Normally, she would give them back a day later, but somehow she lost my cards in her desk and I haven’t seen them since. I’m still a little salty about that, but hey, life goes on.

So let’s get into the Pokemon. After all, that is what you are here for. I tried to stick to the original 151, along with some of the original characters. Special thanks to my boy Tyler for helping me out with this list, couldn’t have done it without you.

JOEY VOTTO - MEWTWO

Both of these guys are just straight badasses, and they know it. (Picture to scale)

RAISEL IGLESIAS - RAICHU

Both prove that big things can come in small packages.

BILLY HAMILTON - JOLTEON

This one is pretty self explanatory #SpeedKills

JUMBO DIAZ - SNORLAX

This one doesn’t need an explanation either

JOHN LAMB - MEOWTH

Both have crazy eyes and look like they have a screw loose.

BRANDON PHILLIPS - CHARIZARD

Swagger.

JAY BRUCE - MISTY

I’m not really sure why, this just seemed fitting.

BRYAN PRICE - PROFESSOR OAK

They are both seemingly the only authority figure in their respective environments.

TONY CINGRANI - JAMES

They sorta look alike.

HONORABLE MENTION - JJ HOOVER - SAD PIKACHU

Once again, self-explanatory.

Obviously, I didn’t cover every Red here, for several reasons, but mainly I was getting Photoshop fatigue. If I missed any major ones, let me know in the comments, if you have better ideas for Reds players (past or present) who represent Pokemon, sound off.