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This Week in JPEGs

This Week in JPEGs

picture courtesy of me, you idiots

This Week in JPEGs is sponsored in part by Astrocreme. Unchap your ass with the soothing salve used by astronauts!

TWiJPEGs took last week off because I was on vacation. Two weeks ago, the winner was the escapist fantasy bemoaning The Unpleasant Demise of Young JJ Hoover. After my week away and then the All-Star break, I think we’ve all had enough time to lick our wounds and clear our heads. So here’s some new JPEGs.

Giancarlo Commands Thee

The Home Run Derby has been around for over 30 years. It has become a good-time event of camaraderie and sportsmanship, with competitors and teammates alike cheering each other and slapping congratulatory fives.

Giancarlo Stanton disapproves.

Giancarlo leveled his judgement on his adversaries and spectators alike. You see, Giancarlo Stanton is a god. But he is no loving and compassionate god. He is one of the old gods. He demanded a blood sacrifice and exacted it from all who witnessed. It was terrifying.

Jay Bruce and Adam Duvall, Handsome All Stars

The Reds are one of the worst teams in the league this year, and yet both Jay Bruce and Adam Duvall were conscripted for the All Star team. The honor was well-earned, as they have both played very well over the first half. Of course, they have looked real good doing it, too.

All Star Game? More Like All Fall Asleep Early Game

How many of you actually stayed awake and watched the entire game? From what I hear, it wasn’t all that exciting. In fact, on the Reds website, there is but one highlight from the entire game. And that highlight was just Adam Duvall catching a routine fly ball.

Jeez Lah-WEEZ! Not even the rambunctious full-throated chatterings of John Smoltz could keep me awake.