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This Week in JPEGs

Ohhhh, lookee!

picture courtesy of me, you idiots

Welcome to This Week in JPEGs. In case this is your first time reading this feature, allow me to explain. I draw pictures in MS Paint that depict something interesting or noteworthy from the past week of Reds’ baseball.

When people ask, my mother tells them I’m in finance.

The last time we did one of these, the winner was This Bullpen, Black as the Pit from Pole to Pole. The bullpen hasn’t changed all that much since then, so it’s still pretty topical.

No theme this week. Just some pictures.

I Want Straily to Pitch Every Night, and Most Every Day Game

Ace Straily, y’all. This fella has been a Kiss of good fortune for an otherwise beleaguered pitching staff. I don’t really like KISS and I don’t really know much about them, so that’s pretty much all I got here. Just a bad name pun and so-so execution.

Can You Spot All of the Bubble Gum?

The bullpen still isn’t very good, you guys. Some pitchers are coming back, as Anthony DeSclafani and Michael Lorenzen and Rasiel Iglesias should provide some relief relatively soon, but as for now, let’s take our minds off of all of that with a little game. A fresh pack of Fruit Stripe goes to the winner!

Bruce is Wheelin’ Out of Cincy

Did you know that Jay Bruce leads all of Major League Baseball with five triples so far this season? That’s pretty boss. He’s actually hitting the goddamn hell out of the ball pretty much all the time now, slashing .275/.323/.571. He has been almost traded something like six times over the last calendar year, so this bodes well for pretty much everyone involved. He is boosting his value on the market, he’ll probably land on a competitive team soon, and the Reds will probably get a decent return for him. He is burning a trail down I-71.