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Jake Arrieta throws no-hitter against Cincinnati, Cubs annihilate Reds 16-0

That, folks, is as bad as it could possibly get.

David Kohl-USA TODAY Sports

The Joe Nuxhall Memorial Honorary Star of the Game

Even ol' Nuxy would've looked at the Cincinnati Reds box score, smiled, and said "go get 'em tomorrow, guys, and I'll talk to you then."

The star of stars in this one was, of course, Jake Arrieta, the reigning NL Cy Young Award winner who dismantled the Reds in as many ways as physically possible.  Arrieta went 2 for 4 with a walk and a run scored, a performance so impressive with the bat that it even buried this game's lede.

Arrieta no-hit the Reds.  The Reds were no-hit.  Hit the ball they did not.  Reach 1B because of hitting they failed to do.  Swing, make contact, err not, and reach base they did not do.  They walked four times, but who the hell cares about that at this point?

The Reds lost to the Chicago Cubs 16-0 while being no-hit.  This "reboot" will continue "rebooting," but hot damn it would be fantastic to claim that this, right here, is as bad is will ever get.

For reference:

Key Plays [WARNING - these are rather Cubs centric]

  • Sorry, got a bit carried away.  Bryant dingered early - a 2-run shot off Brandon Finnegan in the Top of the 1st that somewhat set the tone - and again late - a grand slam off Drew Hayes in the Top of the 7th.
  • David Ross.  That David Ross?  Yes, that David Ross dingered in the Top of the 6th.  Anthony Rizzo did so, too.
  • Silly me.  Here I am four dingers into explaining how the Chicago Cubs got their 13 runs, and I forgot to mention that Ben Zobrist dingered in this one, too, his solo shot in the Top of the 2nd marking his first such this year.
  • Did I say 13 runs?  Apologies.  It ended up being 16 runs, but the tally had only reached 13 by the time I'd found my way to that particular sarcastic Key Play.
  • Sorry, sorry.  Here's the dang play-by-play if you're into smacking yourself in the face with metal objects, or that type of thing.

FanGraph that hahaha like this really needed a WPA chart

Source: FanGraphs

Other Notes

  • The Reds hadn't been no-hit in a regular season game since 1971.  Woops.
  • Drew Hayes made his big league debut in this one and, well, poor guy.  He allowed 4 ER in 2 IP while trying to mop up the mess this game became.
  • Likely the best news to come out of Redsland on this frustrating evening was that Homer Bailey threw rather well in his rehab start with AAA Louisville.  He reportedly touched 97 mph with his fastball, and threw 67 pitches during his 3.2 IP outing.
  • In other promising rehab news, Anthony DeSclafani is set for a rehab start on Saturday with AA Pensacola.
  • The Reds still have 146 games scheduled during this 2016 season, and they'll get right back on the horse that bucked 'em tomorrow evening against Chicago.  Jon Moscot will tangle with Jon Lester in a battle of h-less starting pitchers, with first pitch set for 7:10 PM ET.  Just a hunch, but I'll assume there are still good seats available.
  • Tunes.