The Cincinnati Reds have seen a spate of injuries to their pitching core the likes of which we've not seen in quite sometime. It's a far cry from the 2012 season, when only a rainout makeup double-header started by Todd Redmond prevented the same five starting pitchers from starting all 162 games that glorious season.
With the news that Alfredo Simon is being bumped from tonight's scheduled start with a biceps issue in favor of young hurler Robert Stephenson, I thought it time to look back at the litany of ailments the team's tossers have faced so far this season.
Homer Bailey - Tommy John surgery (estimated return: mid-May)
John Lamb - back surgery (estimated return: early May)
Anthony DeSclafani - oblique strain (estimated return: late April, early May)
Michael Lorenzen - elbow strain, mono (estimated return: May(?))
Alfredo Simon - biceps tendinitis (estimated return: I hope not, but probably by this weekend)
Cody Reed - lacerated finger (estimated return: ouch that sounds terrible, but hopefully just a week)
Jon Moscot - intercostal strain (back with Reds)
Raisel Iglesias - shoulder fatigue (back with Reds after shortened Cactus League season)
Jumbo Diaz - dingeritis (optioned to AAA Louisville dinger recovery ward)
Jonathon Crawford - travelling narcolepsy (he keeps wandering off, falling asleep, and nobody can find him for months at a time)
Zack Weiss - elbow tendinitis, facial hair too-goodedness (estimated return: unknown)
Keyvius Sampson - sore triceps (returned, then optioned to AAA Louisville dinger recovery ward)
Nick Travieso - groin (estimated return: GAH WHY CAN'T THEY HAVE NICE THINGS)
Skip Schumaker - rusted grit (estimated return: we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian.)
Ross Ohlendorf - dingeritis (it's contagious, folks, keep your masks on out there)
J.J. Hoover - unclutchitudiosis (estimated return: as soon as David Weathers can smack some sense back into him)
Josh Smith - who?
Matt Magill - Tommy John surgery (estimated return: Chris Heisey)
As you can well see, it's been hard out there for a pitcher. Hopefully, these balky arms, shoulders, and maladies will be righted as the weather warms, schools let out, the stands get packed, and baseball season truly becomes baseball season once again. Until then, the healthy likes of Brandon Finnegan, Robert Stephenson, Dan Straily, um, Brandon Finnegan, and Robert Stephenson will be tasked with carrying the early load in this Reboot.
Here's to healthier times ahead of us all.