Spring Training has wrapped up and the Reds are headed back to the Middle West. Opening Day is only three days away! We all know that Cincinnati is the place to be if you wanna see some Reds baseball on Monday, but what you may not know is that there are places where the Reds WON’T be playing on Opening Day. So I thought I’d lend you a hand and put together a (not exhaustive) list of places to avoid if you are interested in seeing Reds baseball on Monday.
Reds fans should avoid Chihuahua, as it is a near certainty that the Reds will not be there. This town is best known for its population of feral rat dogs that swarm the sewers and scarf pizza crusts and other trash, but it hardly has any connection at all with Reds baseball.
Klyuchi, Kamchatka, Russia
This small village in the rural far-east of Russia is so small and rural that the Soviets designated it as a "whipping boy (козел отпущения)" town and used it as a target to test ICBMs. The Reds will not be playing baseball here on Monday, but it is still worth mentioning that Kamchatka is a key territory to hold in Risk if you want any chance at securing North America.
This bustling mountain metropolis is home to legendary alt-rock outfit Built to Spill and world-famous boiseberry preserves, but what you won’t find here is Reds baseball.
This fast-growing suburb of Boise has arguably become a legitimate city in its own right, but as with Boise, the Reds will not be playing here on Monday. In fact, it is fairly safe to say you can count out the entire state of Idaho when it comes to where the Reds will be playing baseball.
Homs has been decimated by the Syrian civil war, as much of the infrastructure has been destroyed and over half of the population has fled. The Reds will not be playing here on Monday largely because they are scheduled to play the Phillies in Cincinnati on Wednesday and travel and logistical concerns would make it difficult.
It is easy to confuse Cincinnati, Iowa and Cincinnati, Ohio because they are spelled and pronounced the same. But don’t be fooled: the Reds will not be playing baseball here on Monday. Cincinnati, Iowa has a population of only 357, which is insufficient to support a Major League team.