Reds Photo Day portraits and what they might be saying if they were submissions for a dating website rather than baseball

Amir Garrett

Yeah, I just got some new ink. Wanna see? Also, do you want to go on a date?

Joey Votto

Two. Hundred. Fifty. Milllllllllion.

Cody Reed

Hello, I’m Cody. I play baseball. Do you see my glove and ball? Also, my cap?

John Lamb

Suuuuuup. You ever play laser tag?

JJ Hoover

You should come with me on a date. We will listen to my Hank Williams Jr CD and shoot off my 12-gauge into an old tractor I have in my field. Then we’ll make a bonfire with some pallets my buddy and I stole from the Home Depot parking lot.

Jumbo Diaz

No es posible para usted tener relaciones sexuales conmigo.