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What Photo Day can Teach Us About the 2016 Reds

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It's going to be a long, weird, season.

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

I'll be honest, it's all downhill from Photo Day.

Players can only get injured or disappointing from hereon out. Or traded. But on Photo Day everyone's in crisp uniforms and has a look of excitement on their face. It's Spring Training! Anything can happen, even to our beloved, plucky, 64-win team!

And plus, we get to make assumptions or at least dumb jokes about players based on how they look in their official photos. For example, I think Joey's gonna be a whole lot looser this year.

You wouldn't like him when he's angry. You may like him if he's doofy.

Devin Mesoraco, it seems, has lost a bit of weight. He looks downright Leake-ian

Tony Cingroyo is trying something new with his hair and awww dangit Tony. Does this mean he's gonna start throwing 88mph all dang day? Someone really has to take this husky to the groomer.

tfw u realize you have no idea where you're going to be next week mid-swing:

Even his winning smile has turned a bit Homer Bailey-ish:

(see what I mean?)

Caleb Cotham, I am happy to report, looks exactly like a dude named Caleb Cotham:

Nick Travieso was rudely called to take his picture before he was finished shaving:

And Jesse Winker – and I say this as a good thing – takes every picture as if he just deadpanned the perfect fart joke:

"GRRR! Look intimidating out there, Robert!"

Zack Weiss is our latest winner of the "Non Roster Invitee who looks like Bryan Harris" sweepstakes:

Juan Duran had the clever idea that, in order to avoid his suspension, he'd wear the skin of a 50-year-old like a mask:

But more to the point, there are whole pages of this thing that are like the most boring game of Guess Who? ever.

theseguys

Who are these guys? Who made them Reds? Are they supposed to win 70 times this year? We only have the next six months to be disappointed by them.