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Four proposed name changes for the Cincinnati Reds

There has been a wave of inventive name changes among minor-league baseball clubs. It is time the Reds got on board and joined the 21st century.

David Kohl-USA TODAY Sports

If you have looked around the baseball universe recently, you might have seen more than a few unfamiliar faces. The Akron Rubber Ducks, the Daytona Tortugas, the Hartford Yard Goats. Minor-league franchises have made a push to bring their clubs into the new millennium with fun and exciting rebrandings that appeal to the new generation of baseball fans. The Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp, Montgomery Biscuits, Pensacola Blue Wahoos. New mascots and logos bring a fresh look and feel that shows people that baseball can be fun again. The Richmond Flying Squirrels, Vermont Lake Monsters, and, hopefully, the Staten Island Pizza Rats. It's also a great way to get people to purchase new fangear like hats, shirts, belts, and retainer cases.

Now, in Cincinnati, we sure love our baseball. The town is the home of the very first professional baseball club, established all the way back in 1869. History and tradition are a pretty big deal around here. But let's face it: the past is behind us. It's time to live in the future.

And so I submit for your approval a few different ideas I have for a new look for our beloved Cincinnati baseball team. They have been the Reds (or Red Stockings or Redlegs) for generations, and I think it is time to bring our team into the 21st century. Take a look at my proposals and at the end you'll have a chance to vote for your favorite.

The Cincinnati Karate Soup Cans

This one is a nod to the town's two strongest traditions: givin' 'em the business karate-style and eating soup for dinner.

The Cincinnati Frenchmen

Cincinnati is proud of it's strong French heritage, from the historic Over the Seine neighborhood to its enormous Festival d'Octobre.

The Cincinnati BeerCats

Despite being generally terrible, Cincinnati sure does like the University's sports teams. The local beer is better, so I think this strikes a nice balance.

The Cincinnati Secure Passwords

With all the computer hacking going on these days, it is important to have a strong and secure internet password for your emails, social medias, and such. So not only is this a fresh 21st century update, it's also a sensible public service announcement.


So them's my ideas. Vote for your favorite, let me know what you think in the comments section, and maybe we can get the team to take a look and listen.