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Keyvius and Butthead Do Cincinnati: Rats Win, 5-4.

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That umpire is such a Butthead!

David Kohl-USA TODAY Sports

The Joe Nuxhall Memorial Honorary Star of the Game

Todd Frazier hit his 31st funkblast of the season, and it is the most he has ever hit in a season.  This gets him the nod, but he also hit a sac fly and was the recipient of an intentional walk.  Overall, he was 1 for 2 with the homer, run scored, 2 RBI, and a BB.  Honorable Mentions go to Ramon Cabrera for getting his first major league hit, and Joey Votto because I'm afraid if I don't he'll find me while I'm sleeping.

Key Plays
  • Sampson got himself into a little bit of trouble to start off the first.  Gregory Polanco doubled to lead off the game to center field.  Starling Marte bunted because Clint Hurdle has poop for brains and a dumb purple face.  However, that did get Polanco to third, who then scored on a McCutchen sac fly.  Congratulations, Clint Hurdle.  Your stupid, dumb, stupid, bunt scored a run.  You're still sooooooooooooo dumb for bunting.  Congratulations, idiot.  Rats lead, 1-0.
  • In the bottom of the 2nd, Todd Frazier Toddbopp'd a baseball out to center field.  it was his 31st round tripper of the season, and that is a new record for Todd.  Congrats, buddy.  Tie games, 1-1.
  • Not much happened until Sampson Buttheaded his way into some trouble.  He let Polanco lead off the inning with a single, McCutchen walked with one out, and Aramis Ramirez singled to load the bases.  The Reds' pitching coach (I don't know his name) visited Keyvius on the mound to settle his nerves, but it didn't matter.  On a 2-2 count.  Juggs Pro Kang hit a grand salamadamadingdong to make it 5-1.  Bad, Keyvius.
  • Votto led off the bottom of the inning because he's a beautiful man.  Phillips would reach on an error when Happ couldn't corral the throw at first, and the Pirates gave him his exit card.  Joakim Soria entered the game to coax a sac fly from Todd Frazier, but nothing good happened after that.  Rats 5, Reds 2.
  • Some funky baseballs happened in the bottom of the 8th.  Jason Bourgeois pinch hit for Tucker Barnhart, and Dan Symborski gnashed his teeth.  But!!!  Bourgeois hit a single up the middle, and NERTS hit a double.  The sad part is NERTS pulled up lame running into second base, and it looks like he pulled a hammy.  He was lifted for Ryan LaMarre.  Billy Hamilton was then walked, because of course, to face Ivan DeJesus Jr.  DeJesus worked the count and blasted a ball to deep right field, that I thought was gone, but was caught.  Wow.  Hold on to your butts.  Votto worked a 1-2 count....
  • Joseph apparently had some problems with tonight's home plate umpire.  Votto tried to get a timeout that was not granted, and asked for an appeal to his dugout.  It looked to me like he wanted Price to intervene.  As soon as he looked to the dugout he was tossed.  I've never seen Joey that mad.  Ever.  I swear.  He lost it.  It took Riggleman everything he had to keep Votto away from the umpire.  The umpire is a real Butthead.  Take a deep breath.
  • So, Ramon Cabrera came to the plate with a 1-2 count and hit a bloop to right field that dropped to score a run.  Brandon Phillips hit  a dribbler to no man's land that scored another and but left the Reds with two outs.  Todd Frazier was intentionally walked and Bruce struck out.  Rats still lead, 5-4.
  • After that the Reds pretty much went quietly into the night.  DON'T EVER GO QUIETLY INTO THE NIGHT!  Rats win, 5-4.
Other Notes
  • Seriously, Joey Votts lost his freaking mind tonight.  I think he had every right to be pissed, but dang, don't ever make him mad.
  • The Daytona Torgulars were super awesome catpajamas as they are going to the FSL championship.  They beat Clearwater, 2-1, behind a very strong start by Naughty Nick Travieso.  Nick pitched 7 strong innings and gave up 1 earned run, 1 walk, and struck out 5.  Chad Wallach hit a solo dinger and walked.  This is really awesome.
  • If you didn't hear, Kristopher Negron tore his Labrum and broke his Scapula yesterday.  He didn't seem too upset because he said at least he did it making a sweet play.
I'm gonna go outside and drink a beer.  It's a really nice North Dakotan night out there.