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The Brewers spit Hot Fiers, smoke the Reds 12-1

Who are the 5 best pitchers of all time? Think about it. Fiers, Fiers, Fiers, Fiers and Fiers.

Benny Sieu-USA TODAY Sports

The Joe Nuxhall Memorial Honorary Star of the Game

The Reds aren't a contending team. Anyone with two eyes and a non-controlling ownership stake in this team can see it. And it was on full display tonight. There's been a lot of hard luck with injuries and other things, but there's also been a lot of bad baseball.

So, in an unprecedented move here at Red Reporter, I'm giving the JNMHSotG award to... nobody*. Michael Lorenzen struggled mightily with the home run ball and efficiency, the bullpen 2015'd hard, and the bats were 3 hit by Mike F'N Fiers. So, no. You all will get nothing and like it, 2015 Reds. Everyone watching this is now dumber for having watched it. I award you no trophies, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Honorable mention to: No one. Haven't you been reading?

*I have no idea if this is unprecedented.

Key Plays

  • The game didn't get off to a great start for your Cincinnati Redlegs, and Michael Lorenzen gave up a leadoff home run to Geraldo Parra. Jonathan Lucroy singled to center and Ryan Braun moved him to 3rd with a single of his own. After Braun stole second, Adam Lind chopped one up the middle that resulted in an out but scored Lucroy and advanced Braun. Carlos Gomez grounded to Todd Frazier who had him dead to rights at 1st base, but after he looked back Braun, decided that he could catch Braun napping and dove for the tag out. The Reds challenged the safe call, and indeed Frazier stuck the tag just milliseconds before Braun could get back. Tucker Barnhart gunned down Gomez trying to steal second and just like that, the inning was over. Brewers led, 2-0.
  • Lorenzen couldn't stop the the bleeding in the top of the 2nd, as Aramis Ramirez whacked the first pitch he saw deep into the seats in left center. The Brewers went quietly after that, finishing the top half of the 2nd leading 3-0.
  • Nate Adcock replaced Lorenzen for the top of 5th after Lorenzen's pitch count go the best of him. Adcock swiftly gave up a single to Parra, who moved to 2nd when Adcock's pick off throw sailed to the fence. Lucroy belted a double off of the wall in center field, just over the head of Billy Hamilton, which scored Parra. Gomez singled to center with 2 outs to score Lucroy, and then Ramirez flew out to Marlon Byrd in left to end the inning after adding a few more. Brewers led, 5-0.
  • After a good 6th inning of work for Carlos Contreras, he came back to work for the 7th. It didn't go well. After getting Parra out, Contreras walked Lucroy, served up a hit to Braun, walked Lind, and then missed his spot badly on a pitch to Gomez, who crushed a grand dinger into the left field seats. That was all she wrote for Contreras, and this game was broken WIDE open. Brewers led, 9-0.
  • Burk Badenhop came in to spell Contreras. After giving up a lead off single to Hernan Perez, Badenhop walked Parra to put 2 on with no outs. He induced a double play ball from Lucroy, advancing Perez to 3rd, who would come into score on a Ryan Braun double. Badenhop escaped the inning after that, but the Brewers notched another on the bedpost, 10-0.
  • Ryan Mattheus came in to pitch the 9th. It went about as well as the rest of the game. Gomez singled, Shane Peterson grounded out on a ball that advanced Gomez to 2nd. Jean Segura walked, and Scooter Gennett singled into right field that scored Gomez. Perez singled to load the bases, and Parra hit a sac fly to Hamilton that scored Segura. The Reds got out of the inning after that, but 2 more tacked on. Brewers led, 12-0.
  • Hey look, the Reds are alive. Jay Bruce cravy'd a hit, and Tyler Cravy gave him one to munch on, a double in fact. Skip Shumacher came on to pinch hit a single, and Eugenio Suarez delivered the Reds only RBI, knocking in Bruce from 3rd. And that was it. Barnhart hit into a double play. Brewers win, 12-1.
Tony Graphanino

<iframe src="" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" height="450" width = "450" style="border:1px solid black;"></iframe><br /><span style="font-size:9pt;">Source: <a href="">FanGraphs</a></span>

Other Notes
  • Happy Fourth of July Eve, everybody. You could call it July 3rd, if you're a communist, I guess.
  • Reds gave up 16 hits to one of the worst teams in baseball.
  • The Reds unveiled their fairly impressive, kind of redundant video board in right field today, sponsored by Proctor & Gamble. The new jumbotron is 90' x 30' and, apparently, gives a view of scoreboard goodness to around 7,500 people that couldn't see the one in left field. That was the flashiest thing the Reds did today.
  • Tony Cingrani made a rehab start tonight with Louisville, going 2 IP, with no hits, no runs, 1 walk and 3 Ks. He pitched 35 pitches, which is typical Tony Cingrani non-pitch efficiency, but it's a pretty good start coming off injury.
  • Robert Stephenson, the mid-season #18 prospect in all of baseball, got the call to AAA this week and started tonight in Louisville, as well (Tony started in a suspended game from the night before). He pitched pretty well, going 5 innings with 4 hits, 3 walks and 6 Ks with only 2 earned. Go Bob Steve.
  • The Reds will resume this series tomorrow on 'MERICA DAY at 7:10 EDT. Josh Smith is scheduled to face off against Admiral Jimmy Nelson in a stars and bars studded showdown at the ballpark. Join us, won't you? And if you won't, because you're going to be in the midst of Fourth of July celebrations, everyone here at Red Reporter wishes you and yours a wonderful holiday.
  • Let's all be mindful and responsible with our fireworks and beer drankin', as well. I'd like to keep all of you around here healthy, happy, and with all your digits.
  • Tunes.