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Farmers Only Weekend Harvest: Knick Knack Paddy Whack Louis Gives No Whacks

No No No No No Hitter, Y'all!

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Louisville Bats

Friday, Louisville had a 2-1 lead going though the 5th inning, but gave up 4 runs in the 6th and lost, 5-2.  Keyvius 'Hey There Deliliah" Sampson started off good but didn't end well (5.2 IP, 6 H, 4 ER, 3 BB, 4 K).  Collin "Bolly" Balester pitched a scoreless innings.  Irving "Moo Moo" Falu hit a 2 RBI double.

Louisville played 2 games on Saturday.

Game 1 they lost, 3-1. Matt "Busch Light" Buschman put together a commendable start (6 IP, 7 H, 3 EAR, 1 BB, 4 K).  Jermaine "Lee" Curtis was 2 for 3 with the Bats' lone RBI.

Game 2 the Bats would finally beat Toledo, 2-1.  Donovan "Mister" Hand did his best to keep the Mud Hens at bay (4.2 IP, 4 H, 1 ER, 1 BB, 2 K).  Jumbo "Mumbo" Diaz also pitched a scoreless inning.  Kristopher Negron was 2 for 3 with a RBI.

Sunday, the Bats did a thing.  A thing you don't talk about.  A thing, I guess, I'm forced to address.  The Louisville Bats not hit the Toledo Ass Hats.  It was a combo of Tony "Spicy Spags" Cingrani, David "I'm Your Mongo" Holmberg, and Sam "Mustache Ride" LeCure.  A little prop up to Sammy, he struck out 4 batters in 2 innings.  Yeah, buddy.  Brennan "Splintered Ass" Boesch hit a solo wanger, and Jermaine "Lee" Curtis was 3 for 5.

Pensacola Blue Wahoos

Friday, Pensacola won their game against the Biscuits, 6-3.  Barrett Astin pitched well (6.2 IP, 5 H, 2 ER, 4, BB, 6 K).  Miguel Celestino pitched a scoreless inning and a third with 2 strikeouts.  Jesse "Winkerbean" Winker hit a grand slam.  Seth Mejias-Brean and Kyle "Can Be" Skipworth both hit solo bombs.

Saturday, the Wahoos beat the Biscuits again, 4-3.  Wandy Peralta put together a quality start (6 IP, 8 H, 2 ER, 1 BB, 4 K).  Zack "Weez" Weiss pitched a scoreless inning with 2 strikeouts.  Jesse Winker was 1 for 4 with 2 RBI.  Yovan Gonzalez something.

Sunday, the Wahoos won, 4-1.  I'd write something more but SBN keeps deleting this part.  They won.  Be happy.  Wooooooooooooo.  I hope this part posts.  Seriously, why would this delete thrice?  Booooooooooo.

Daytona Tortugas

Friday, Daytona scored 3 runs in the 9th inning and beat Bradenton 5-4.  Seth "Vinny Vanny" Varner held his own (6 IP, 7 H, 3 ER, 0 BB, 2 K). El" Hajj "The Prophet" Muhammad picked up the win with a scoreless inning of relief. Uncle Phil Ervin was 1 for 4 with 2 RBI, 2 runs scored, and a walk.  Sebastian "The Lizard" Elizalde was 3 for 4 with a double.

Saturday, the Tortugulars won, 3-2. Nick Routt put together a nice start (6 IP, 7 H, 1 ER, 0 BB, and 3 K). Joe "Stuffed" Mantoni and El'Hajjy both recorded scoreless innings out of the pen.  Sebastian "Bach" Elizalde hit a 2 run wanger on a 2 for 4 night._

Sunday, the Tortugulawesomes lost, 4-3.  Bradenton is a bunch of shits.  Jackson " My Flag" Stephens was as good as he's been all year (6 IP, 4 H, 2 ER, 1 BB, 4 K).  I never thought the Confederate General would stick as a starter, but he's proving me wrong.  Um, Sebastian "Sea Bass" Elizade had another 2 RBI.  Kid had a big weekend. Jeff "Peanut Butter" Gelalich was 2 for 4.  Remember when he was a peanut and jelly sandwich pick?

Dayton Dragons

Friday, Dayton and Lansing scored all their runs in the 5th inning, but Dayton came out on top, 2-1.  Jacob Paulson didn't pitch long but pitched very well (4.2 IP, 5 H, 0 ER, 0 BB, 7 K). Brennan "San" Bernardino and Conor "Santa" Krauss both pitched 2 innings or scoreless relief.  Jimmy "Slim" Pickens and Jose Ortiz both had a single and a RBI in the game.  Clutch City, beach.

Saturday, held off a late rally and won, 4-3.  Wyatt "Derp" Strahan continues to string together good starts (6 IP, 3 H, 0 ER, 3 BB, and 5 K).  Jeremy "Evil" Kivel pitched 2 scoreless innings with 3 strikeouts.  Garrett Boulware was 2 for 4 with a RBI, and Jonathan Reynoso was 2 for 3 with a solo dinger, RBI, run scored, and a walk.

Sunday, our Dragons went past the distance and won by a score of 10-9. Tejay "Just Call Me TJ" Antone had a rough start (5 IP, 9 H, 6 ER, 2 BB, 3 K, 1 HR).  He's been solid all season, so this is just a blip, hopefully. Michael "Sully?" Sullivan pitched 3 scoreless innings. Paul "Dongfield" Kroenfeld was 2 for 5 with a double, 3 RBI, 2 walks, and woooooooo.  Aregnis "Mah Mask" Aldazoro was 3 for 7 with 3 RBI.

Billings Mustangs

Friday, Billings took the made up Orem Owls to the woodshed with a 8-0 beating.  Ty "Water" Boyles pitched very well (7 IP, 7 H, 0 ER, 3 BB, and 5 K)  Sarkis "Snarky Ohioan" Ohanian threw 2 scoreless innings.  Aristides "Horseshit" Aquino finally got his head out of his ass with a 3 for 5 night with a 3 run wanger.  Mitch "Tall" Trees was 2 for 4 with a double, triple, 2 runs scored, and 2 RBI.

Saturday, Billings played a real team, Grand Junction, and lost 7-4.  Jordan "Gordan" Ramsey didn't have his best stuff (3 IP, 4 H, 3 ER, 1 BB, 3 K).  Sandy "Beach" Lugo pitched a unearned scoreless inning with 2 strikeouts. Kevin Franklin (who?) hit a 2 run dinger on a 2 for 4 night.  I didn't expect to say that. Brantley "Ring My" Bell was 2 for 4 with 2 doubles.

Sunday, the Mustangs got their booties spanked, 16-3.  I'd say something about the pitching, but it was awful.  Very very awful. Jonathan "Silent J" Martjin hit a 2 run dinger.  That's it.  Wash you're hands.

Arizona Reds

Friday, the Reds fell short to the Dodgers, 3-2.  Jesus "Saves" Reyes was let down by his disciples.  He pitched 4 innings, 4 hits, 2 runs, 0 earned runs, 2 walks, and 2 strikeouts.  Andrew "Boring Name and I'm Out Of Dumb Shit Nicknames" Jordan pitched a scoreless inning, and Israel "Jew Caves" Cuevas pitched 3 scoreless innings with 3 strikeouts. Ty Washington and Daniel Pigott hit solo wangers.

Saturday, the Reds pulled out the whoopin' sticks and won, 16-3.  Mason "Soft" Felt started the game but walked 3 in his 1.1 scoreless innings.  Wendolyn Bautista was the only other pitcher to not give up a run (3 IP, 3 H, 0 ER, 0 BB, 5 K).  Daniel Pigott hit a 2 run dinger and a lot of other guys had big nights.  Look it up in the box score.  I'm lazy.

Sunday, the AZL Reds were off because they worship a benevolent God.  His name is Todd Frazier.