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Farmers Only: Grab A Bat And Raise Hell

The farm teams could have used a little extra offense.

Ken Blaze-USA TODAY Sports

Louisville demonstrated a fine pitching performance to their fans with a 4-0 victory over Syracuse.  Raise Hell Iglesias had his first rehab start of the year, and he looked very good (3 IP, 3 H, 0 ER, 1 BB, 3 K).  Sam LeCure filled in for another 3 scoreless innings giving up 3 hits, 1 walk, and 2 strikeouts. Drew "Rutherford Bee" Hayes and Jumbo Diaz combined the final 3 scoreless.  Kristopher Negron hit his second AAA home run and was 2 for 5 on the night. Irving "Shamu" Falu and Jermaine "Lee" Curtis had multi-hit games.  Mongo starts tonight, I guess, at 7:05 PM EST.  He was suppose to start last night, but they lied to me.

Pensacola had the night off because they love me.  Wee Wittle Wandy pitches tonight at 6:35 PM CST.

Daytona lost 5-1 against Palm Beach.  It was Seth Varner's Daytona debut, and he wasn't as sharp as we are accustomed to (6 IP, 8 H, 3 ER, 2 BB, 2 K).  Nick Howard pitched a clean inning which is something of note.  The Tortuga's lone run was scored on a Junior Felix Arias's RBI single, and well, that's about it for this one.  Who the hell knows who is pitching tonight at 7:05 PM EST.

Dayton had one in the bag until they gave up 4 runs in the 9th and lost, 8-7.  Mark Armstrong put up a commendable start (5 IP, 7 H, 2 ER, 0 BB, and 2 K), but his bullpen totally betrayed him.  Stupid betrayers.  The latter half of the Dragon order, Jonny Jon Reynoso, Narciso Crook, and Argenis "The Mask Of" Aldazoro, all had a 2 hit game.  Wyatt Derp starts tonight at 7:00 pm EST.

Billings lost, 12-5, and I have never wanted to just close out the window and not write about a game more in my life.  However, I guess this is kind of like my job, except I don't even get paid in gum.  I like gum.  Uhm, Gordon Ramsay served up a shit ton of runs with his appetizer, and so did his sous chefs with their entree and dessert.  Lots of pepto needed, stat.  Blake Trahan, Kevin "Jerry" Garcia, and Reydel Medina all had two hit games.  Wah.  Constante the Great pitches tonight at 7:05 PM MT.

Arizona actually finished a game before 1:00 am, but they were shutout and lost, 4-0. Israel "Jew Caves" Cuevas was the only pitcher who didn't give up a run.  He pitched 2 scoreless innings with 2 strikeouts.  Legend has it that the Bear Jew lives within him and gives him strength.  When he emerges from his winter hibernation it looks a bit like this.

You can see Cuevas frrom behind unleashing this hell upon the Earth.

The Reds were three hit on the night.  Maybe, they should have let Cuevas's monster swing his heavy bat.