I think some previous reposters have covered updates to Great American Ball Park, such as self-serve beer machines, and bacon drizzled with more bacon, but this one involves a topic that mass media assures me all 28-year old women ought to be interested in: BABIES. That's right, Great American Ball Park will now have babies. Your babies. This off-season, the Reds installed a nursery, for breastfeeding, diaperchanging, and I dunno, just hanging out with your baby. I know lots of people already bring their babies to baseball games, but this does sound a lot better than whatever the previous options for breastfeeding probably were. (Also in the interests of disclosure, I admit I do wuv babies because they are sooooo kyuuuuuuute. Dang biological clock.)
In a study of which teams drove up secondary market ticket prices the most for their away games, the Reds came a very respectable tenth, boosting prices 11% on average. It's nice but I kind of feel like that and $8 will buy you a 22 oz bottle of some half-decent craft beer. At the very least it's a hair better than our ranking in overall attendance for 2014, 14th. Somewhat more distinctive - the Reds had the lowest "Cost to see a home win", based on ticket prices and win percentage from 2012-2014 - driven primarily by very low home ticket prices. I feel like our ~54% win percentage over the last three years is easy to forget, too.
Bryan Price is quoted in this ESPN piece on "Ten ways to boost offense". BTW, out of the five ways that aren't rule changes, three of them are: strikeout less, bunt (against the shift, to be fair), and run more. Smallball. What you're talking about is smallball. I did think the Joe Maddon quote on advanced data collection and analysis not helping batters at all was interesting.
The Reds rotation sits at a kind of depressing 22nd in the fangraphs power rankings. I blame Jason Marquis.
Here is an interview with Donald Lutz in German. Of course they lead with the time his teammates made him travel in women's clothing. There's also video, here (Lutz parts starts at 15:50 ish), but I can't use google translate on a video, and I only understand about 1 out of every 4 words.
Yeah, this is probably not my favorite April Fools Day article related to the Reds.