The Joe Nuxhall Memorial Honorary Star of the Game
When Joey Votto Joey Vottos at a vintage Joey Votto level, few - if any - can approach his Joey Votttoness. Tonight Joey blasted his first official dinger of the spring, a dinger so smooth and beautiful you could have easily thought you were watching something from 2010. He's reportedly dingered in a few minor league game appearances and/or "B" games, but this is the first time we've all had the chance to see him go to work on TV with his big league brethren by his side, and it was a sight to behold. He didn't just dinger, he dingered off of San Francisco Giants pitcher Tim Hudson, the kind of veteranny hurler off whom dingers of note get noticed, and it was a dinger of pull variety (which was the kind Votto had issues with when his balky leg kept balking). Keep showing us that this isn't just a freak occurrence, Joey Votto, and we'll all go to sleep at night knowing that the Cincinnati Reds have bigger plans in mind for 2015 than the flapping heads and pundits give credit for.
Honorable Mentions are due to: Anthony DeSclafani, who allowed just a single earned run through his 4.2 IP; J.J. Hoover, who tossed a clean inning in relief; and Chris Dominguez, who smacked the go-ahead double as a pinch-hitter in the 9th.
- In the Top of the 1st, Joey Votto honked a dinger. A dinger Joey Votto honked came in the Top of the 1st. The Top of the 1st hosted a Joey Votto dinger party, and Joey Votto was the DJ wearing a Joey Votto costume. I don't want to speak for Bob Castellini, the nether-parts of the Reds universe, or Joey Nottos everywhere, but I'm pretty sure he got paid for it, too. Reds led, 1-0.
- Them Reddo's held the lead behind Anthony DeSclafani all the way until the Bottom of the 4th, and that's when a Buster Posey double and subsequent Travis Ishikawa single leveled things. Game tied, 1-1.
- Odd things then happened in the Bottom of the 5th, none of which helped the Reds' cause. Ehire Adrianza walked to lead things off, and Joe Panik then smacked a 2-out single to start the OMG DRAMA. A cross-up between DeSclafani and Mesoraco moved the runners up, and Adrianza scored when a soft liner from Posey hit the heel of Cozart's glove and popped out for an error. Brandon Belt then giraffed a single to score Panik, and the Reds trailed, 3-1.
- In the Bottom of the 7th, Mike Lorenzen was tasked with not walking in a Giant runner, and failed at that by walking four batters in a row to drive in a run. Reds trailed, 4-1.
- A rally of seismic proportions (this is an awful California joke) took place for the Reds in the Top of the 9th. Chad Wallach reached on an error to start things, and after Steve was too Selsky to not K, Beau Amaral singled and Brian O'Grady O'Walked to load the bases. Ivan De Jesus then singled to LF to plate a pair, and Chris Dominguez followed with a double off the wall in LF to plate the rest of the runners and put the Reds on top. Kyle Skipworth then jammed a dinker just over the pitcher's head that landed softly in front of the Giants SS, and it landed softly enough for Skipworth to leg out an infield single and score Dominguez. Reds led, 6-4.
- Timothy Adelman was tasked with closing things out for the Reds in the 9th, and after he was knocked around for a double and a run, he got a liner to the 2B for the 3rd out in the inning, and that was that. Reds win, 6-5!
- We bobbed and weaved through the comments section in an attempt to determine whether El'Hajj Muhammed pitching to Devin Mesoraco accounted for the longest combined last names among batteries in the MLB. Thanks to the finest muffins, we're pretty sure that honor actually belongs to the Miami Marlins whenever Jose Fernandez pitches to Jarrod Saltalamacchia. Better luck next time, Hajjy & Dev-o.
- The Reds sent out a lineup that consisted of 6 perceived regulars and whatever the hell Skip Schumaker is, and they proceeded to get 1-hit through the 7 innings in which they all primarily played. Ratfarts.
- Michael Lorenzen was summoned as a reliever tonight and visibly struggled with his command. Judge accordingly.
- Now that you've judged accordingly, smack yourself in the forehead and scream "IT'S STILL SPRING." Lorenzen later singled, prompting at least 0.3 of us to suggest he should be a CF again.
- Hunter Strickland walked a few dudes in the Top of the 9th and was bitten by an error from his defense, and the fans of the team that has won 3 World Series titles in the last 5 years boo'd him.