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Cyve dumb predictions

You've heard some dumb things. Be prepared for the dumbest.

"Did you hear that dumb thing he said?" "Yeah well, what about the other four?"
"Did you hear that dumb thing he said?" "Yeah well, what about the other four?"
RVR Photos-USA TODAY Sports

I haven't been posting as much, mostly because I'm so dumb. That's how dumb these predictions are.

1) Homer Bailey will win 20 games

He's healthy, a bit rested, and as surly as ever. I predict this pretty much every year, but this year I'm really serious about it. He'll do everything to make the Reds okay with saying goodbye to Cueto. Homer'll be the ace from 2016 into the future.

2) Tony Cingrani will finish in the top 5 in strikeouts

The only thing stopping Cinnerman from dominating has been stamina and a third pitch. Price seems happy with what Tony's shown this spring so far (that is, like, one week) and I'm really excited to see what a trained Cingrani can do as he has to fight for a spot.

3) Leake will be traded after a rookie knocks down the door

I'm not sure who, but I think that one of the AA/AAA guys will just blow the doors off all summer. Mike Leake gets traded for that lefty LF/1B the Reds badly need after Lorenzen or Moscot or Stephenson or whomever make themselves irreplaceable for the stretch run. There's nothing more fun in baseball than a rookie who doesn't know it's supposed to be hard knocking down dudes in the stretch run.

4) Mesoraco is sick of this bullshit

Devin will be caught on camera yelling at someone in the dugout. On the "Chris Carpenter to Greg Vaughn" scale, it'll be far on the 45-dinger side. The fearsome dude ends up being the fire to Votto's ice and rides a .280/.350/.540 year to stardom.

5) Offense goes up leaguewide

After years of offensive decline due to more relievers, better pitching, and a wider zone, offense goes up a tick this year. It won't be 1996-level dramatic, but it'll be a nice noticeable boost to every batter's statline. Manfred won't say how it happened, but duh, it's the ball.