If you're planning on watching a game called football where hard-headed analysts speak about removing the act of kicking the ball from the game entirely (and you're interested in hammering your keyboard in regard to it), then this is the thread for you.
The Boston Patriot Sox are taking on the Frasier Ospreys in the Superb Owl this afternoon, and we here at Red Reporter fully support you celebrating the last professional sporting event of note before the dawn of baseball season. Consider this, like, a tribal solstice celebration, or something. Our own Charlie Scrabbles will be checking in here from time to time as he live-RR's the game from the sidelines in the Land of the Endless Strip Mall, surely providing the kind of hard-hitting analysis that's the equivalent of 1/(anything Phil Simms ever said).
For my money, I'm banking on Brandon Phillips intercepting Marcia Brady at least twice, one of which will set up Jay Bruce's game winning single hit right through the teeth of the shift off Dick Sherman. Take that, Rob Manfred!