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2015 in review: Jason Marquis

We pray that death will be painless, but those of us who know better gave up praying long ago.

David Kohl-USA TODAY Sports

i have this disease sometimes late at night involving alcohol and the internet. I get drunk, and I drive my wife away with a breath like mustard gas and roses. And then, speaking gravely and elegantly into the laptop microphone, I ask the internet operators to connect me with this friend or that one, from whom I have not heard in years.*

This, I can only imagine, is also how it came to pass that Walt Jocketty got Jason Marquis to throw major-league baseballs for the Reds in 2015.

By the Numbers

He pitched on 47.1 innings, but he gave up 10 home runs. His ERA was 6.46. Mind you, this is in the New Era of the Pitcher, when the ghost of Harry Caray could post a sub-six ERA.

This guy sucked. We knew he would suck. I'm not linking that as an I told you so, though. I mean, it's not like I did some genius prognostication work or anything. I just haven't written much around here in the last year or so.

Jason Marquis made $1.5 mil for his trouble, by the way. Are you not surprised that Donald Trump is a legitimate presidential candidate?

2015 in Review

/narrows eyes

Looking Forward

*Kurt Vonnegut is dead now. So it goes.