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Gerrit Cole.
Jake Arrieta.
Fight to the death.
Seriously, this is a pretty spectacular pitching matchup, despite the teams playing the game. Jake Arrieta will try to prove he was worthy of all those Cy Young votes that he inevitably got. Gerrit Cole will look to prove that he's not too damn shabby, either.
Unfortunately for Reds fans, Joey Votto is not playing in this game, otherwise he'd probably just go nuclear on an ump after an inside pitch from Cole was called a strike.
Enjoy. For the next month, we set aside our loyalties and become, first and foremost, baseball fans.
Also, let's criticize the SHIT out of all these not-the-Reds!