For whom to root: A grammatically correct look at the MLB Postseason

The Reds finished the season 64-98, which is pretty much their worst showing in my lifetime. It was dreadful and there is really no other way to spin it. Still, baseball is like pizza: there is no such thing as "bad." Even the worst baseball is still baseball, which means it's waaaaaaaaaaaay better than football, which can kiss my hemorrhoids.

Fortunately for we Reds fans, there is still baseball to be had. There is another month's worth of it ahead us before the chilling winter winds seize up the pine tar and kill the outfield grass. So let's take a look at the actual good teams still in and collectively decide for whom we will be rooting.

AL Wild Card Game

Houston Astros at New York Yankees

Disastros no more. The Astros are back in the postseason for the first time since 2005 when Prime Lance Berkman and Prime Roy Oswalt led them to the World Series. What's cool is Chad Qualls is back. He was a young set-up man for that '05 squad, and now he is an old set-up man for this year's squad. But now this team is led by youngsters like Carlos Correa, Jose Altuve, and the terrifying Cy Young candidate Dallas Keuchel.

The Yankees have Didi Gregorius at SS and a resurgent Alex Rodriguez. Also, this isn't the Evil Empire from the days of yore. I'm sure most still kinda hate them, and obviously you should be pulling for the plucky Astros here, but these Yanks don't really deserve the same animus of their forefathers. But yeah, pull for the plucky Astros.

NL Wild Card Game

Chicago Cubs at Pittsburgh Pirates

These NL Central rivals posted the second and third-best records in baseball this year, but they have to square off in a winner-take-all game just for the opportunity to play in the Postseason Proper. I'm not mad about it; I think it's cool. But I can't root for either one of these teams, obvs. The winner here will move on to face the Cardinals. At that point, I'll root for 'em. Because the Cardinals suck hind titties.

ALDS

Texas Rangers and Toronto Blue Jays

The American League is really, really fun this year. Every team seems fresh and endearing in their own ways. The Rangers weren't expected to go anywhere as they lost 95 games and finished last in 2014. They were double-counted out once their ace Yu Darvish was lost for the season. But here they are. They stumped the intelligensia by trading for Cole Hamels at the trade deadline and then made an amazing run to win the AL West. Prince Fielder and Adrian Beltre are tons of fun to watch, and they also have old friend Shin-soo Choo, who is resurgent this year after battling injuries last year.

These Blue Jays though, golly day! They are back in the postseason for the first time since back-to-back World Series championships in 1992 and '93. They scored nearly 900 runs this year with the strongest offense baseball has seen in a long time. Boppers Edwin Encarnacion, Jose Bautista, and Josh Donaldson walloped 39, 40, and 41 home runs, respectively. They also traded for Cy Young candidate David Price and all-world SS Troy Tulowitzki. I wouldn't hate the Rangers winning here, but it would be a damn shame to not see these Blue Jays play on and on and on.

ALDS

Wild Card Winner and Kansas City Royals

The Royals were the best team in the AL this year and they have Johnny Cueto. There is no parsing my affinity for this team.

NLDS

Los Angeles Dodgers and New York Mets

The Dodgers spent a jillion dollars and won 92 games. Clayton Kershaw and Zack Greinke are the best one-two punch in a rotation that baseball has seen since Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling carried the Diamondbacks in '02 (just ask Thom). I think if any team can stop the Cardinals, it is Kershaw and Greinke.

The Mets are kinda cute in the same way the Rangers are: they really weren't expected to do much but ended up winning the division (or to be more accurate, the Nationals lost the division). They have great pitching in Jacob DeGrom, Noah Syndergaard, and Matt Harvey, so if they get hot at the right time they could really carry this team. And hey! 34-year-old Curtis Granderson knocked more than 50 XBHs and trade deadline dynamo Yoenis Cespedes has the entire borough of Queens on diabetes meds. And then there is Bartolo Colon.

So my head says root for the Dodgers because they probably have the best shot at beating the birds, but my heart says omg Bartolo.

NLDS

Wild Card Winner and St. Louis Cardinals

So in the end, I think I'd like to see a Dodgers - Blue Jays World Series. The Jays' offense swinging against Kershaw / Greinke would be Ali / Fraizer - level hyped. But I'd also love love love to see Cueto lead the Royals to the title. Honestly, there is something to like about every single team in the postseason this year. Aside from the Cardinals, of course. They can suck eggs.

Every series has something compelling and worthy of the stage. All games are on either TBS or FOX. Check the internet for times and such.