The Joe Nuxhall Memorial Honorary Star of the Game
Devin Mesoraco reached into his bag of 2010 Joey Votto tricks and blasted the Cincinnati Reds past the St. Louis Cardinals this evening, doing so with a double dinger, three runs scored, three ribbies, a double, two walks, a partridge in a pear tree, and a bag of flaming Oreos to boot. Mes has done his best to continue the torrid pace he set after the DL stint that started his season, and it's looking more and more like he can be the righty thumper in the middle of the Reds' order that they so desperately sought for the last handful of years.
Oh, if only the lefty mashers would whip some potatoes like they used to again...
Honorable Mentions are due to: Brayan Pena, who walked thrice, smiled nice, and 1B'd quite a game at the talky corner; Mike Leake (!), who pitched better than his 3 ER line would dictate and whacked a double to boot; Manny Parra, who tossed a clean inning for the first time since the 'KRP administration; and Zack Cozart, who donked a triple as part of a two-hit night aimed at reclaiming the 2nd worst slugging SS award currently occupied by Derek Jeter (#hugetits).
- Your feet were cold after the Bottom of the 1st because the Reds shocked your socks off and scored a pair of early runs, as Devin Mesoraco broke the seal on Game 2 of the St. Louis series with a double boomstick dinger to LF after a leadoff walk from Billy Hamilton. Reds led, 2-0.
- The filthy Cards got one back off Leake in the Top of the 4th, however, as a Matt Adams single, Jhonny Peralta dhouble, and a toilet flushed sac-fly got the bad guys on the board. Reds led, 2-1.
- Leake tightened up the belt on his big-boy pants after that, however, and took matters into his own hands in the Bottom of the 4th. After Zack Cozart tripled by a diving John Jay in CF, Leake roped a double to the corner that got the Reds their 2-run lead back. Reds led, 3-1.
- The Reds knocked the doors off the baseball game that never had doors to begin with because it's a game and not a house in the Bottom of the 5th, plating four runs that made everyone giddy and distracted up until the point in which they were deemed to be quite necessary. Wacha was chased after a Pena walk and double from Mesoraco, and once Jason Motte took over both Phillips and Cozart smacked run-scoring hit-smacks. Reds led, 7-1.
- The fan was pelted with poo in the Top of the 7th, however, though it was fortunately not nearly enough poo for things to get out of hand. No, the toilet did not overflow. A double from Oscar Taveras and single from Kolten Wong to lead off the inning chased Leake, and Jumbo Diaz was called upon to help clean things up. Unfortunately, his mop was a bit rusty and the inning got worse before it could get better. Singles from Tony Cruz and John Jay plated a pair, and after Matt Holliday reached on an infield single that Cozart couldn't field cleanly and a a walk to Adams loaded the bases, Peralta whalked to drive in another. Fortunately for the Reds, Diaz got A.J. Pierzynski to butt-shovel into a grounder to escape the inning. Reds led, 7-4.
- The Reds threw all of the couch cushions to the bottom of the basement stairs and jumped down them to play pile-on in the Bottom of the 8th just because Pythagoras and his gray beard are just a bunch of jerks. A Pena single and a walk from Mes got things going, and after Jason Bourgeois singled to load the bases Chris Heisey singled off a diving Randall Grichuk's face to plate another two good guys. Reds led, 9-4.
- Because of Bud Selig and Obama, probably, this game took nearly 4 hours and seemed to take twice that long. Much of that was due to the Cards' 9th inning, when this guy did something to score Peter Bourjos, who got on base thanks to gremlins, Mentos, and a 5-hour energy. Aroldis Chapman was eventually summoned to the mound, however, and he preached fireballs and brimstone loud enough for the Cards to finally take a seat. Reds win, 9-5!
- I am no crolfer.
- John Lackey and his pitch face will take the mound opposite Alfredo Simon tomorrow in Game 3 of the 4 game set, with the first pitch scheduled for 7:10 PM. This is where we hope for pumpkin pie and not just a pumpkin (and vanilla ice cream if we get the pie, because without it no).
- I should proabably write the words 'Yadier Molina' at some point instead of just repeatedly referring to a toilet. Gah, why's he have to [insert mildly positive praise while still sounding disgusted here]?
- Pardon me while I...sorry, much better now. Blame 2014.
- Tunes so fat that you can see 'em from the front.