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Farmers Only: Beers and Ballers

The beers are for me. The Ballers are for you.

Alexander Hassenstein

Louisville lost 4-2 to the Buffalo Bisons, who have the most boring name in minor league history.  You wanna Lutz, I wanna Lutz, but we don't get to Lutz tonight.  McDonald Lutzington went 0 for 3 with 2 strikeouts, but he did walk once.  Ruben GOtay did smash a Reuben with extra Kraut, and continues to let us think he could be a viable bench bat.  No one else wanted to bring goodies to the picnic, though.  The pitching was bland.   Josh Smith, who has been pretty good on the year, wasn't very sharp (5.2 IP, 7 H, 4 ER, 3 BB, and 5 K).  I forgive him.  Villarreal and Shark Bait WOOOO HAHA had scoreless appearances.  Tim Crabbebebe will pitch tomorrow night at 6:35 real time against Buffalo Boring Names.

Pensacola lost as well by the score of 4-3 to the Birmingham Barons.  They have a slightly better name.  Billy Bob Rob Stephenson was wild tonight.  He only gave up 1 earned run in 6 innings, but did walk 4 and struck out 6.  The good thing?  He only gave up 2 hits and zippo, 0, home dingskies.  Elvin Ramirez did let the bullpen down, giving up 2 earned runs in 0.1 innings.  Justin Freeman and Drew Hayes had scoreless appearances.  Don't look too fast, but Juan TOO TALL Duran has been having himself a pretty decent week.  He struck out 2 times, but he also hit him a swoooon song big bomb in the 5th.  It was only a solo shot, which is also considered a rally killer.  It was his 5th of the year.  Steve SO DRUNK YOU Selsky had 2 singles and a walk.  I'll just let you know Josh Fellhauer also had two hits, a double, and a free base.  Everyone else excelled in suckitude.  If you like baseball, tune into watch Jon "Dances With" Moscots pitch tomorrow night at 6:30 CST.

Bakersfield their thang... winnin' games and takin' names by a score of 8-2.  Marquez Smith and David Vidal both hit titty taters (Smith a 2 run, and Vidal a 3 run).  Vidal is killing the ball since he took a demotion to learn how to catch.  Amaral, Waldrop, Brean, Perez, and Vidal all had two hits on the night.  Doo Wah Diddy Dennhardt didn't have his best stuff (5 IP, 5 H, 2 ER, 3 BB, 2 K, and 2 HR), but was able to keep the Lancaster JetHawks (I swear they combined that into one word) from doing too much damage.  I don't know how he only gave up only 2 ER with that line, but that's kind of impressive in itself.  Moran, Klimesh, and McMyne all had scoreless appearances.  Ben Schnively will take the mound tomorrow night at 7:30 PM PST and somehow try and improve on his 0.81 ERA.

Dayton jammed their jam with an 8-4 victory over the West Michigan Whitecaps on Thursday night.  I don't know where to start, but I figure I'll start with the funky fresh jammy jams set down by Jamodrick and Company.  The front of the lineup was good, wait no they were damn great.  Jamodrick McGruder set the table with that smooth bass (3 for 4, 2 runs, and a walk), and Jeff "Smells Likes Peanuts And Jams Like Jelly" Gelalich had 2 hits of his own.  Belting the vocals, and saving your mortal soul, was Phillip Ervin when he hit a solo heart breaker in the in the 4th.  He had another hit and scored another run, but he also struck out twice.  Don't we all sometimes?  Sammy Diaz hit a 2 run Louis Armstrong in the 4th as well.  The pitching was just a strong as the hitting.  Daniel Wright is adding his name to the long list of pitchers that deserve a promotion.  He went 6 innings, giving up 3 hits, 1 ER, 0 walks, and 6 K.  His season ERA is 2.06, and he has done everything as well as Travieso.  He just doesn't have that first round pedigree, so we aren't talking about him.  We should and we need to start right now.  He's a bit old (23), but damn if he didn't put up some sweet periphs last year, with some bad luck, and is doing the same this year.  Pedro Diaz was bad, but Scott Brattvet was good.  Sweet Soft Sal Romano will pitch tomorrow night at 7:00 pm at Fifth Third Field.

It's good to be alive, RR.  Smell that crisp, sweet morning air.  It's Memorial Day Weekend, y'all.