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Early Offense Powers Reds to Loss. What? STL 7, CIN 5.

That damn team just damn team'd the Reds again.

Not the best name for a pitcher tonight.
Not the best name for a pitcher tonight.
Dilip Vishwanat

The Joe Nuxhall Memorial Honorary Star of the Game

Devin Mesoraco emerged from his Winter hibernation, saw no shadow, and roped a pair of doubles in his first game of the 2014 season, and that was a pretty damn welcome sight.  While NERTS has NERT'd his way into our hearts in his stead, Mesoraco's offense is - and should be - being counted on to provide a Zelda-style big heart to the Reds offense, and it's great to see that playing out already.  For providing that in St. Louis on a national TV stage in day 1 of his season, Mez gets tonight's JNMHSotG.

Honorable Mentions are due to:  Jay Bruce, who hit like Jay Bruce hits (which is pretty snazzy) with a triple, a single, a run scored, a pair of RBI, and a cringe-inducing dropped fly ball that basically was the difference in the game; Joey Votto, who went 2 for 3 with a pair of runs scored; and Yeah Thatsit, for...yeah, that's it.

Key Plays

  • The Reds burst out of the gates tonight against Cardinals SP Lance Lynn, led first by a Phillips double with one out in the Top of the 1st.  Votto was hit by a pitch next, and Bruce followed with a triple off the end of his bat that went to the RF wall and scored them both.  Ryan Ludwick then followed with a sac fly to LF to score Bruce.  Reds led, 3-0.
  • In the Top of the 2nd, Mes hit a 1-out double to left-center, and after he moved to 3B on a Homer Bailey groundout, a single up the middle from Billy Hamilton brought him in.  Reds led, 4-0.
  • Unfortunately, Bailey got lit up in the Bottom of the 2nd.  Yadier Molina flushed a 2-strike pitch from Bailey out to LF for a solo can, Matt Adams followed with a single, and after Jhonny Peralta shtruck ohut shwinging, Peter Bourjos singled, Lynn bunted into a fielder's choice that moved Bourjos to 3B, Matt Carpenter singled to score Bourjos (whose name is getting increasingly annoying to have to type), and Kolten Wong tripled to clear the bases.  Game tied, 4-4.
  • The Reds re-took'd the lead in the Top of the 5th courtesy - once again - of the middle of the order.  Votto hit a 1-out single to left-center, he moved to 3B on a single to RF from Bruce, and a Ludwick grounder to 2B brought Votto in to score.  Reds led, 5-4.
  • The Baseball Gods decided to eat what the Cardinals served them after that, and they then farted all over the Reds beginning in the Bottom of the 6th.  Logan Ondrusek was brought on to relieve Bailey, and he promptly gave up a leadoff double to Bourjos (whose name has now reached insufferable typing level).  He moved to 3B on a sacrifice from Daniel Descalso, and after Carpenter was hit by a pitch, Matt Holliday hit a "double" to RF that was actually a deep fly ball that Bruce catches 105 times out of 50 except, of course, when playing the Cardinals in Busch.  Both runners scored.  Reds trailed, 6-5.
  • J.J. Hoover came on to pitch in the Bottom of the 7th, and whatever curse currently envelopes the Reds' bullpen afflicted him, too.  Molina led off with a double, Peralta walked one out later, and that dude whose name I'm increasingly annoyed with then singled to score the toilet.  Reds trailed, 7-5.
  • I was going to write something about the Top of the 8th, but the Reds made three outs so fast that I couldn't even get something down quick enough.  The 9th went similarly, unfortunately, and that was that.  Reds lose, 7-5.
FanGraph That Will Make You Want to Hate Baseball

<iframe src="" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" height="450" width = "450" style="border:1px solid black;"></iframe><br /><span style="font-size:9pt;">Source: <a href="">FanGraphs</a></span>

Other Notes
  • Ugh.
  • GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
  • Cardinals fartinals grumble grumble RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE.
  • Hot dammit.
  • I promise you that the Reds won't play the Cardinals in every game this season.
  • Homer Bailey's ERA would make for an appropriate amount of reindeer.
  • The Reds cow is giving kerosene.  Their kid can't read at 17, and the words he knows are all obscene.
  • Fat, drunk, and 2-6 is no way to go through a season.
  • Do anything to take us out of this gloom...