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Mat Latos is Kinda Sorta Not Really Hurt

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Though we don't know exactly how kinda not hurt.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHICH ELBOW IS SORE!  Yes I do.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHICH ELBOW IS SORE! Yes I do.
Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sport

The Cincinnati Reds, Louisville Bats, and every beat writer known to Reds-kind spent the afternoon scaring us into believing that something was seriously wrong with Mat Latos.  The Reds' right-hander had been scheduled to throw his second rehab start for the Bats against the Columbus Clippers this evening, and after that idea was scrapped, the Reds announced that Bryan Price would have more information on it when the doors to the locker room opened at 4:45 PM, some four hours later.

So we whipped ourselves into a semi-frenzy about whether it was his knee, his elbow, the flu, shingles, salmonella, or club foot that could've caused the dilemma.  That seemed practical.

When John Fay & Co. finally had a chance to speak with Price, it was revealed that Latos has...

...

...

...elbow inflammation.

He apparently can toss the ol' baseball around today, even.

So, we got all antsy-pantsy for no real reason, aside from the fact that this cautious approach will probably mean that Alfredo Simon will get one more turn in the rotation before Latos comes back.  That's cautious.  That's prudent.  That's probably what should've happened anyway, so we can all settle down and have a nice libation and laugh at why we were so super duper serial scared all afternoon.

The other news that was announced today was that Jonathan Broxton and his sore tendon mass (that sounds disgusting) are healthy and will be rejoining the team.  In a corresponding move, Trevor Bell was sent to the DL with "elbow inflammation," or something, which is code-word for "you pitched like poo but our bullpen is decimated, so here's two weeks worth of a paycheck while we hope everyone else doesn't melt."

Also of note is this, which may well be the coolest thing I've seen since the last time I saw a picture of Joey Votto.  OUR SUPERSTAR IS COOLER THAN THE OTHER SIDE OF YOUR SUPERSTAR'S SUPERSTAR PILLOW!