- Louisville was Lousy-ville incarnate tonight, collecting all of 5 hits in an 8-0 friggin' mauling at the bloody jowls of Scranton Wilkes-Barre. I'm getting kind of sick of sugar-coating all these abominations marauding around as competitive baseball games, but Jesus Luther King, Jr. on a 32" spinning chrome hubcap they're starting to get to your ol' Uncle Weezykins. A former future Martin Prado (Henry Rodriguez, who was 1-4 tonight) is staring a sub-.600 OPS in the face. With his 6 innings, the starting pitcher (Chad Reineke, who gave up 4 runs), passed MATT MALONEY to take the top spot on the Louisville all-time innings pitched list. You wanna know the steaming pile of shit that topped off this fetid cake? A-Rod hit a 2-run home run. Fuck this game, y'all. Don't read the box score. Up next: The Great White Shark Hope, AKA Chad Rogers (1-2, 7.56) faces the
YankeesRailRiders (?!?) at 7:05.
- Pensacola at least had the decency to try to win, even though they fell 1-0 to the Stars despite having twice as many hits as Huntsville did. Travis "Fresh Prince of" Mattair was 3-4 with a pair of DJ Jazzy doubles, and Ryan LaMarre was 2-3 with a walk and a steal. Danny Renken held the Stars to one run over 6 innings while allowing just 3 hits, though he did walk 4 to go along with his 4 K. Up next: Carlos Contreras makes his first start as a Wahoo.
- Bakersfield lost to the Rawhide, 9-3. *sighs and rubs temples* The first two Blaze pitchers combined to give up 12 hits and 8 runs in the first 5 innings, though Kyle Lotzkar pitched a scoreless inning. Juan Duran tripled and walked, and Kyle Waldrop was 2-4. Up next: Robert Stephenson will make his first start in High-A against Visalia at 10:45.
- Dayton won in the most dramatic way possible...fitting for the only affiliate victory of the day. The 3-Brean Casserole creamed a walk-off grand slam to beat the league-leading Beloit Snappers 7-6. Jesse "and the Rippers" Winker was 0-2 with three walks, and hero of the night Seth Mejias-Brean was 3-5 with 6 RBI. Casserole Seth has hit 4 home runs this year, and three of them have been grand slams! Not a bad ratio at all. Ismael Guillon gave up 3 runs on 6 hits in 4 innings, walking 3 and striking out 5, however, as the Dragon pitching staff combined to allow 10 bases on balls in the game. Up next: I hope Nick Travieso (3-3, 6.37) has a good outing. He faces Beloit at 7:05.
- Billings was on the wrong end of a 10-8 contest against Grand Junction. Gabriel "Freedom Rider" Rosa was 2-4 with a double and a walk, and Carlos "the Jackal" Sanchez was 2-5. Not much good stuff on the pitching end of things. Up next: Lucas Moran (2-0, 4.26) faces Grand Junction at 9:05. Why are there so many Morans in the Reds' system?
- The AZL Reds–you might want to sit down for this, it might come as a surprise–lost. I know it's hard to fathom that a minor league team in this system would do that, but I assure you, the 4-2 loss to the AZL D-Backs is no myth. Cory Thompson and Logan "Brendann-" Uxa each had two hits. Second-round pick Kevin Franklin (praised for his power potential) is slashing .188/.282/.246 on the year. He was 0-4 with a strikeout. Jeremy Kivel "N Bits" struck out 4 and allowed 2 hits in his 4 innings. He gave up 2 runs/1 earned and walked one. Up next: AZL Diamondbacks at 10:05.
God, this minor league system loses some embarrassing games sometimes. Oh, and a walk-off grand slam. The parasites are excited when we're dead. I may have gotten into the scotch tonight :)
By Johnny Weez