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This week in JPEGs: Jay Bruce turns Julio Teheran into a skeleton, the Bakers go fishing, and swaggin' with @DatDudeBP at the All-Star Game

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No butt jokes this week, I promise!

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pic courtesy of me, you idiots

Last week's winner was titled Votto's Reaction and reflected the metaphysical disbelief displayed by our hero at the realization that Carlos Gomez had burgled his wanger. Don, Red Reporter's resident Rebel without a Blog compared it favorably to Picasso's Guernica, and I agree with that assessment. Not to say that it's as good as Picasso, but I think it's probably pretty dang close.

This week being the All-Star break, our collection of JPEGs reflects the inaction of the time off. Or, well, I guess just one of them does. The other two are still baseball.

Jay Bruce Turns Julio Teheran into a Skeleton

On Sunday in Atlanta, the Reds routed the Braves to enter the break on a high note. Jay Bruce's two-run home run in the third inning capped off a four-run rally and buried Braves' starter Julio Teheran. Quite literally, actually.


Bruce's home run was so devastating that it blew off all of Teheran's skin, guts, sinew, and viscera and all that was left was his skeleton. Teheran's skeleton pitched another 2⅔ and gave up only one more run, so he pitched better as a rickety collection of bones than as a full actual human body.

Bakers Go Fishing

Dusty Baker has fish on the brain. Every year at the All-Star break he and his son Darren get some quality father-son time in out on the water. Before the break, he waxed prosaic about the art of hitting with an extended analogy to fishing:

"There was a player I called 'Bluegill' for a long time here. He didn't know why I was calling him 'Bluegill,'" he said. "It was because he'd swing at the first piece of bait they'd throw out there. You catch the big boys because they don't go for the bait. The little guys get themselves out because they go for the first piece of bait they throw out there. That's the Bluegill. So that's what you can do. They say sometimes you get so wound up that you just lose sight of the thought process and over a period of time, over a period of years you should be getting better at it or else you'll forever be a bluegill."

Here is an artistic representation of what that fishing trip might look like:


Swaggin' with @DatDudeBP at the All-Star Game

First, you gotta check the video. Tim McCarver's reaction was worth sitting through that entire boring game. If you don't wanna watch the video, I'll summarize a bit for you. Brandon Phillips made two terrific plays in the fifth inning, one of which was a show-offy bare-handed turn of a double play to end the inning. With BP on the national stage in New York City, how could he not show off his swag?