- Louisville was drowned by the Tides, falling 9-3. Daniel "Pensacola?" Corcino was not sharp, again, allowing 5 runs on 10 hits and 2 walks in just 4 2/3 innings. He struck out 3, and his WHIP on the year stands at a bloated 2.06, not unlike a beached whale expanding in the hot, coastal sun or a very fat man after a particularly cholesterolly feast. Emmanuel Burriss somehow managed a 4-4 night, and Denis "Read My" Phipps and Kris Negron each added 2-4, 2B lines. Billy was 0-4, but walked...no steal. Up next: Tony Cingrani (3-0, 1.15) does the damn thing at 7:05 against Norfolk.
- Pensacola didn't get rained out, and actually burnt the Biscuits in a doubleheader sweep. Game 1 was a low-scoring affair, as Moose Mattair's 2-run single in the sixth proved to be the difference maker (and one of only 4 Wahoo hits), and Josh "The" Smith walked 4 guys, but allowed just an unearned run in his 5 innings. Theo Bowe stole the show, bro, in game dos and, y'know, the score wasn't as low, so, whatever ("wait, what the hell is happening?" they ask, confused). Anyway, Bowe went 2-3 with a steal and a home run in the Wahoos' 6-5 win. Some guy named Shaun "Perry" Ellis gave up a bunch of runs to start with, but the offense offensed, and Lee Hyde came on to pitch 2 scoreless innings (after having thrown one in the first game) to nail down the save. Up next: Tim Crabbe (2-5, 3.64) and the 'Hoos head to Mississippi to face the Braves at 7:05.
- Bakersfield drained Lake Elsinore, 5-2. The Blaze broke a 2-2 tie in the bottom of the seventh, thanks to back to back doubles from the Juans (Silva/Silverio) and a solo shot from Chris Berset. Juan #3 (Perez) also played a part in the win, going 2-3 with a double and a homer from the top of the order. Carlos Contreras tossed 5 innings of one-run ball, and Jake "Douche Hammock" Johnson picked up the win with 3 of the same. Up next: It's fireworks Friday! Jon Moscot (1-8, 5.34) faces the Storm at 7:45 my time.
- Dayton lost just their second road game of their last 11, falling to Bowling Green 6-1. Sal Romano was driving a lemon, giving up 4 runs in the second to put the Dragons behind for good. Jesse Winker kept on winkin, going 2-3 with a triple that may or may not have actually cleared the wall, not that it really would've mattered much. Up next: Pedro "Brief Wondrous Life" Diaz (1-5, 6.25) in the rubber match against the Hot Rods, first pitch at 8:05.
Farmers Only: Dry Biscuits and Accidental Poetry
Time for a Daniel Corcino demotion? And a trio of Juans drain a lake.