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How Reds Players Would Spend $20 at Great American Ball Park

The answer to an inquiry

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Longtime lurker and infrequent (?) commenter RussellMeTimber posed the question to Grahamophone about the best way to spend $20 at the ballpark. I figured I'd do a little research and let you know how some of your favorite Cincinnati Reds would spend $20 at the ballpark, if they had the chance.

JAY BRUCE: Two cheese coneys with mustard/onions. Coke Zero, light ice.

BRONSON ARROYO: 3 Vodka-Red Bulls for Krystle in Section 124, Row E, Seat 4 whose "INSATIABLE" tramp stamp tattoo caught his eye between innings and who he's pretty sure doesn't have the clap anymore.

AROLDIS CHAPMAN: 5 Cream Cheese and Guava Pastries, to be eaten immediately upon removal of packaging.

CORKY MILLER: 4 leather keychains at the souvenir stand, to be eaten immediately upon removal of packaging.

BRANDON PHILLIPS: Lil Debbies #snackcakes #shawty for all my #BPDebbiesShawty #yall #SWaG #YOLO bruh.

TODD FRAZIER: Cinnamon Toast Crunch

SHIN-SOO CHOO: It doesn't matter, because the vendors would somehow hit him with it and then claim he crowds the counter.

DONALD LUTZ: um, wurst. Duh. Ja vohl.

TONY CINGRANI: Raw meat, because obviously.

HOMER BAILEY: A souvenir baseball bat, which he would then whittle into a bow, shoot a pigeon, and eat that.

JOEY VOTTO: 5 loaves of bread and 2 fried fish sandwiches, which he would use to feed the entire stadium.