Louisville stomped the
yardKnights, 5-1. Chad Reineke was the tits, going 8 innings allowing just a single run on 4 hits with no walks and 5 strikeouts. Billy Hamilton went 1-4 for like the seven millionth time this season. Denis "Child Bearing" Phipps led the way, driving in 3 with a bases-clearing double in the sixth. Felix "Felicis" Perez was also 2-4. Up next: Yohan Pino "Colada" (2-4, 2.87) squares off against the Knights at 7:05.
Pensacola dropped another one to the M-Braves, this time a more suspenseful 3-2. Donald Lutz was 2-3 with a steal in his first game since being sent back down, and Marquez Smith honked his first AA wanger since being promoted. Our Man singled in the fifth to stretch his AA hitting streak to 9 and his minor league streak to 18, but the last couple have been 1-4 nights. Daniel Renken went all quality start on us, with 6 innings of 3-run ball. He allowed 5 hits and 2 walks while striking out 6. Up next: The Wahoos send Josh Smith (5-6, 3.65) to the hill against Mississippi at 8.
- Bakersfield came out on the positive side of a wangerfest (words we all hope to hear some day), beating Visalia 7-4. It was actually a very one-sided wangerfest (aka -ManBearPig's Tuesday night), as Steve Selsky and Kyle Waldrop went back-to-back in the eighth, and a pair of Juans (Silva, Duran) also went yard for the Blaze while nobody did for the Rawhide. The win snapped a six-game losing streak for Bako, who overcame a mediocre start from James Allen to win. Up next: Ryan "Achy Breaky" Dennhardt (3-6, 4.58) looks to start a win streak against Visalia at 10.
Dayton cruised to an easy 5-0 victory over the Whitecaps. Zach Vincej continued to absolutely obliterate the baseball, going 3-5. He is now hitting a gobswallopping .545 since the All Star Break, OPSing an absurd 1.271 over that same time. Sloppy Sal Romano sold the Whitecaps a lemon for 5 figures, allowing just 3 hits in 6 scoreless innings. Kyle "Sweet Berry" McMyne combined with Wandy Peralta and Ben "Branch Davidian" Klimesh closed it out over the final 3 frames. Up next: Ismael Guillon (3-6, 6.24) looks to bounce back (HA) in the rubber match at 7.
Billings picked up in the ninth of last night's rain out, and promptly gave up 4 runs to lose, 7-3. MO "Fuck Punctuation" Wiley gave up 4 runs in 0.1 innings to take the loss, obviously. Phil Ervin was 2-5 with his second magic johnson, a shot to left. They didn't fare much better in the next game, losing to Helena 8-5. 2013 8th-rounder Scott Brattvet was responsible for most of the damage, allowing 5 earned runs in 1.2 innings. The most interesting man in the world, Humberto Valor, led the offense, going 2-3 with a double and a walk. Up next: Jose Guzman (1-0, 0.00) squares off against Helena at 9.
- The AZL Reds fell to the Mariners, 10-4. Ronald "¿cómo estás?" Bueno was 3-4 with a steal, and 2013 32nd rounder (!!) Logan Uxa legged out 2 triples. So, you want to hear a crazy thing? Ugueth Urbina got the win for the AZL Mariners. You wanna hear something even crazier? IT WAS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT UGUETH URBINA!!! There are two separate people in the world named Ugueth Urbina. How much would it suck to be the Ugueth Urbina who was born in Venezuela and plays baseball but didn't attack farmworkers with a machete and try to set them on fire. Must get prettay, prettay awkward sometimes. Anyway, KMiB-approved Franderlin Romero got absolutely curb-stomped in his 1.2 innings, giving up 8 runs on 10 hits. Sorry, my man. Up next: AZL Mariners on tap again, at 10. No starters announced.
Farmers Only: How Maybe We Should Learn to Pronounce "Vincej"
Zach Vincej is a beast, Yorman extends his streak, and a surprising Ugueth Urbina sighting.